/*Nothing to see here*/ Grab Two Beers And Meet Me In the F'ing Unknown: May 2006

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

The News As I See It

Let's see here.

So John McCain gives a commencement speech at the New School in New York on May 19th. The main thrust of his speech was that when he was younger he though he was always right and now that he is older and has served his country for 50 years he has come to appreciate the many different viewpoints and freedom for active debate. He also makes a good point about not only claiming your rights but also living up to your responsibility as a citizen.

In response to this presentation "Dozens of faculty and students turned their back on the Senator, others booed and heckled, and a senior invited to speak threw out her prepared remarks and mocked their invited guest as he sat nearby. Some 1,200 had signed petitions asking that Mr. McCain be disinvited."

At least it sounds like they really understood and appreciate the idea of being open for a friendly debate... And by friendly I mean if they don't get their way they stomp, scream and go home. Thanks for the free discussion.

In Biola news Clyde Cook is stepping down at the end of next year and according to ABC Biola is "Abstinence University." My favorite part of the video was Danny Pascal saying "in my experience whenever someone leaves this school (a.k.a. kicked out) it has been a mutual understanding that they would prefer to go some where else." Of course I am instantly trying to figure out why Drew and Danny came to the understanding that Drew would rather spend a semester in Ohio. After watching this video all I could think was we need to raise a fund to send Paul Smith down to Biola to talk to the two girls interviewed.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

a mockery

That rat bastard stole my idea. I guess its time for me to choose another life goal.

Sunday, May 28, 2006

my last post.... ever?

bon voyage... for now.



elbrecht is placing bets on me not making it home. little does he know, i speak the mother tongue, and have no problem jumping fences, if need be.

see ya'll in a week or so.

Saturday, May 27, 2006

The Most pointless event in the history of Man


It is a tradition that we have all experience (well except you bish, but soon you will) and we all enjoyed it I am sure. We enjoyed it because it meant no more papers, no more class, n0 more RAs, no more cafe food, no more contracts, no more expultions (Drew), no more chapels with the same sermon everytime, no more judgement being passed everytime you walk through campus. Of course I am talking about college graduation (at Biola).

I came to realize today that the graduation ceremony itself, is the most pointless event we will ever go through. It is also the most pointless event for your family members to have to witness. You work your balls off for four (plus) years (well, I didnt and I dont think brady had to either, but hey we got degrees) and then you get to get up at the butt crack of dawn to go sit in a chair with a bunch of people you tried avoiding your whole time there (except for your friends, of course) and then you have sit and listen to some random labia sore give some speech, which was typed and they read it word for word in the same tone, trying to be funny and profound and of course you will never remember what they talked about five minutes after you leave. Then you have to wait in a line to walk across a stage as your name is announced and you get your .24 seconds of recognition and then you go sit back down. If one of your family members has to run to the bathroom real quick because they get a sudden case of the shits, they will not hear your name called. Then you get your diploma holder, that has a paper in it that says, congrats! you now get to pay off your $220K in loans and then we will send you your diploma. then you go back to your seat and wait for the rest of the names to be called. AFter this is complete you pray that it comes to an end, but no you have to now sit through faculty recognitions. 3 hours later, you begin your walk out of metzger lawn and then begin your search for your family which is harder than a priest at an all boys school. As you walk through the sea of people you run into your many "friends" who you new in freshman seminar and they start crying about how they are going to miss this place (even though they begin the Talbot program the following semester). AFter you go through a couple hundred awkward conversations you find your family and head to lunch at the local IHOP, but of course the same 674 people you just graduated with had teh same idea.

My hand are getting tired of typing so I will wrap it up. Eventhough I am extremely proud of my fiance I was over the 8 hour ceremony that allowed me to see her for two seconds walk across the stage (I counted, they read a name every two seconds) and she was too.

I get married in 20 days.

Love you guys

Friday, May 26, 2006

The World Cup in a Nutshell

Well the time has come once again for me to hang up my tattered #20 NASCAR hat and put the El Monte Chimichanga’s down. It’s time to turn our attention away from E3 and fantasy baseball (of which Drew is falling behind due to not having 8 paid hours a day to work on it). My friends it is time for us to set our Anchor Steam down, Drew you need not set down your watery Michelob Ultra (but you must stop looking at their billboards) and raise a Stein of Budweiser (official sponsor) and toast the coming of the WORLD CUP 2006.

This June 9th to July 9th event is the sports shaped hole you’ve been trying to fill with basketball, football and even the (*shutter*) Olympics. Ahhh, but what we come to relearn every 1,461 days is that there is nothing that can fill this hole, save one, soccer. Olé! There is only one event that allows the great satin (You and I) to go up against Iran and beat them 2-0 without George Bush making a few poorly worded speeches. Only one sporting even has caused countries to call peace to wars. There is only one sporting event that gives you a great excuse to stay up all night drinking and yelling Scheiße at the TV, SOCCER. Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé!

So here are some previews of what to expect. As official beer sponsor, Budweiser had the exclusive right to sell beer at the world cup. IN GERMANY! Months of newspaper editorials and talk shows bashing the world’s largest beer maker has caused Anheuser a lot of bad press. In addition Anheuser can’t simple go by the name Budweiser because as we all know the real Budweiser is a Czech beer brewed just a few hundred kilometers to the east of the World Cup. It was also ruled by the German courts that Bud was too close a name to a popular German beer named bit. Anheuser in response decided that it would be better to allow other beers to be served at the World Cup as opposed to being hated by the whole world (it didn’t work for George and it don’t work for beer).

Watch the Brazilian Team games. There are three reasons for this. First, Brazil will win the World Cup. Secondly, Ronaldo will be playing. He is so good that somehow he can take the ball hide it in his jock strap and walk right into the goal without violating a single FIFA rule. Reason #3 is Brazilian women love their Brazilian soccer. Believe me you want to spend time watching that which Brazilian women love.

The US team, according to past history, will undoubtedly loose to Germany in yet another close game but the good thing is that when we meet Germany it will be in the semi-finals. Way to go semi-finals, we rock. We are in Group E with Ghana, Italy and Czech. Italy and Czech will be difficult teams but having seen Ghana play in the Africa’s Cup of Nations I don’t think they will be all that difficult to trounce. We will have to finish in the top two in order to make it to stage 2. If we finish second then it’s likely that we will play Brazil who will finish top in their group. That’s good because then you will be forced to watch that which Brazilian women love. That’s bad because we will be eliminated from the World Cup in less than 9 seconds.

It’s going to be fun to watch the classics McBride, Pope and Reyna but this cup I see Landon Donovan and Eddie Johnson stepping up and making some sweet plays. Once again I expect to finish out this World Cup experience wishing that somehow the US Soccer organization would hire someone to replace Bruce Arena who hasn’t done anything different, since, well… EVER! Any improvement in the US soccer program has to be attributed to the silent army of middle aged maternal SUV drivers seeking fulfillment through their child’s soccer performance (God bless that insecurity).

It is unfortunate that the likely hood of the US meeting Iran on the soccer field to settle their nuclear differences is slim to none. However, just for the record, I wouldn’t mind staking the fate of the Middle East on a good 11 v 11 man match.

Keep an eye open for Mr. Stan Dennison who will be cruising Germany during the month of the World Cup (understand the last sentence was typed while breaking the tenth commandment). If SportsCenter starts out with “A flexing, toned, American introduces his tan to the World” then buckle up because odds are you know that toned American.

Also know that trying to predict the flavor of this year’s World Cup is a huge wild card. I’ve said it before and I will say it again. Japan and German have the weirdest cultures on the planet. Given the beer prowess of the German peoples expect extreme weirdness to be mixed with intoxicated beer bellied men in leather pants. Add one Stan and you’ve got yourself a World Cup for the history books.

Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé!

Thank you science

LONDON (Reuters) - Moderate drinking reduces the risk of heart disease but the beneficial effects of alcohol seem to work differently in men and women, Danish researchers said on Friday.

Out with the old in with the New

well I did it. I got rid of the Sat-piece. I found the lucky guy that gets to take over the damp (due to the leaky door) driver seat of the beautiful 1995 saturn SC1 with 157,021 miles on her. This guy was willing to pay 2G cash and I was not going to stop him.




I took that 2g cash and stuffed it in my pocket and ran to Toyota of Orange (well, I didnt run, but jill drove me there fast). I went to talk to the head honcho there and I pulled out my 2G and flashed it in his face and said, what can I do with this? He replied with, "hey steve, come in here! Take this guy and find him a truck and give it to him for 100 over." (that means $100 over the invoice price, which is the same price the employees pay. So Jill and I wandered around the lot looking at the different vehicular units and we/I found one we/I liked. and went into to take care of all the paper work. I then drove off the lot with a 2006 truck that had 8 miles on it and this is what she looks like(this is not my truck, but it is the same thing, I still havent taken a picture of the actual one I drive)...






In other news. Read these wonderful/bridge burning quotes of mine in the latest issue of the Chimes....
to give you a little background first...
In the meantime, Biola alumni Garrett Anderson was selected from a small group of applicants for the interim spot, though everyone involved was made aware that a separate search would be conducted later. ...
“I appreciate the opportunity to have worked in this position,” Anderson said. “However, I also got treated like I was 12 years old and never got the respect that I feel I deserved. I made great relationships with a couple of the coaches, and for that I am really thankful. The people above me were the ones who never looked into what goes on in the SID department, and they never showed care or appreciation for it. At the end of my time there I feel Biola was completely unprofessional in the way they handled things.”...
“I saw how much Josh actually did behind the scenes, which people above us never looked into. He not only knows the most about the department, but he has the most passion for it and the school’s athletics. He has made great relationships with the conference SIDs, which I found to be really important. If anyone deserved this position it is Josh.”

I have not heard anything back yet from anyone so I guess one of two things happened...1) they are so pissed they dont want anything to do with me or 2) they could give a rat's ass about me.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

On a lighter note...


Phoenix 121, Dallas 118
Nash, Suns Steal Game 1 from Mavericks
Box Score

Mavericks Home

Suns Home
DALLAS, May 24 (Ticker) -- The Dallas Mavericks must be wondering how long they have to pay for allowing Steve Nash to leave for the Phoenix Suns. Nash piloted a late comeback capped by Boris Diaw's basket with 0.5 seconds left that gave the Suns a thrilling 121-118 victory over the Mavericks in Game 1 of the Western Conference finals.
NBA TV highlights from Suns-Mavs: PlayPress Conference: Play Diaw scored a career-high 34 points and Nash added 27 and 16 assists for the second-seeded Suns, who looked tired at times but relied on their resiliency and won a road game for the third straight series. "We feel like we've overcome a lot of adversity this year to be where we are and we want to see how good we can get," Nash said. "Every time we hear something about us, it's yeah, we are underrated," Diaw said. "We'll take the games one by one and see what's going to happen." It was a disappointing and virtually inexcusable loss by the fourth-seeded Mavericks, who led by nine points with less than four minutes to play against the defenseless Suns but could not close it out. "We didn't execute down the stretch," Mavericks guard Jason Terry said. "We had a nine-point lead with three-something left. A couple of turnovers, a couple of blown defensive assignments, execution on both ends of the floor, all correctable errors. It's disappointing we let one slip away. The series opener was a continuation of the nail-biters that have pervaded the postseason. It was Phoenix's fifth game decided by less than three points or in overtime. Dallas has played six such games. "Another normal night in the NBA," Suns coach Mike D'Antoni said. Nash played five seasons in Dallas and was a fan favorite before leaving for Phoenix as a free agent in the summer of 2004. He has won a pair of MVP awards in two seasons with the Suns and victimized the Mavericks in last year's conference semifinals. A driving three-point play by Devin Harris, who scored a career-high 30 points on 12-of-17 shooting, gave the Mavericks a 114-105 lead with 3:43 to go. But Dallas stumbled, and the NBA MVP pounced. Nash scored Phoenix's next 10 points, making two free throws and a 3-pointer before going underneath good buddy Dirk Nowitzki for a difficult layup and over him for a 3-pointer that cut the deficit to 116-115 with 1:04 remaining. "For much of the game, my teammates were playing great and making shots," Nash said. "I was trying to facilitate their games. The later it got in the game, I didn't want to pass up shots, especially with our having fallen behind." On Phoenix's next possession, Nash ran a pick-and-roll with Shawn Marion, who dunked for the lead with 43 seconds left. The teams traded empty possessions before Harris made a 17-footer from the right wing, giving the Mavericks a 118-117 lead with 4.8 seconds to play. After a timeout, Tim Thomas inbounded to Diaw, who had missed badly on the previous possession. He got deep position on Jerry Stackhouse and made a turnaround 10-footer from the right baseline, silencing the sellout crowd at the American Airlines Center. "That wasn't a play for me," Diaw said. "From the start of the play, I was more of the second option. We ran a play we've run two or three times during the year for Steve. Dallas saw the play and I think they knew what we were going to do. I had the ball, so I had to take the shot." In the final second, Marquis Daniels threw away the inbounds pass and Thomas sealed it with two free throws. Dallas had four turnovers in the final 77 seconds. "The last couple of minutes, everything that could go wrong, did go wrong," Nowitzki said. "We couldn't get a stop. Nash made a couple of big shots. Diaw makes the tough turnaround and on the offensive end, our execution was horrible. We didn't even get a shot off until all the way at the end when Devin made the shot to get up a point, but it just wasn't what we were looking for. It's a disappointing loss and a tough way to start a series at home. Marion sprained his left ankle in the fourth quarter but had 24 points and 13 rebounds and Thomas scored 17 points for the Suns, who shot 55 percent (47-of-85) from the field. Nowitzki had 25 points and 19 rebounds and Stackhouse scored 16 points for the Mavericks, who shot 51 percent (47-of-93) and held a 48-38 advantage on the glass. "Tonight we weren't very good," Mavericks coach Avery Johnson said. "Even though we had the lead, we couldn't execute. We were just bad tonight in a lot of different areas that we have to improve on in a hurry. Defensively, Nash - too easy. Diaw - too easy. I know they're really good players, but we've just got to play better defense." Both teams lost key players to injuries. Mavericks forward Josh Howardsuffered a sprained right ankle midway through the first quarter and did not return. Suns guard Raja Bell suffered a left calf strain midway through the final period and was carried off the court. "I thought someone threw something from the stands," Bell said. "But then it started to burn and right now it's pretty sore." Perhaps now the Mavericks know how the San Antonio Spurs felt. After using their advantage in speed to dethrone the champions, Dallas had a hard time keeping up with Phoenix, the fastest team in the league. As expected, the Suns came out sprinting, running their fast break even after a make by the Mavs and taking a 62-58 lead. Nash was the trigger in the first quarter with five assists, then had a handful of nifty layups in the second period, when he scored 12 points. "It took us a little bit at the begining to adjust from the pace of the last series to this series," Nowitzki said. "They had a couple of leakouts early and just had layups on us, but I think that when that first quarter was out of the way, I think we were fine." Harris, who disappeared at the end of the conference semifinals, re-emerged in the third quarter and gave the Mavericks the energy boost they needed. He scored 13 points, including several driving layups through Phoenix's porous defense. "He was great," Nash said. "For stretches he kept them in it. He was terrific from the perimeter and he got to the basket. He had a great game." A three-point play by Daniels capped a 13-0 spurt that gave Dallas a 100-91 lead early in the fourth quarter.

"When I give food to the poor, they call me a saint. When I ask why the poor have no food, they call me a communist."
Dom Helder Camara

Snow Patrol

A good but not life changing (yet) band Snow Patrol released their album Eyes Open. On this particular album there is a song titled Chasing Cars of which can be streamed on their Myspace page (thank you for that insight Drew) is pretty amazing. So good, the song is, that I recorded it off their Myspace page. After looping it 100 times throughout the day I decided that the file wasn't near clear enough so I purchased the MP3 from a reputable online MP3 vendor. After a full day of listening to the new MP3 I came to realize that the song Chasing Cars is one that must be heard in High Fidelity and so yesterday I purchased the CD Eyes Open.

That is just to say this is a pretty good album but the reason I am posting (besides to make you feel guilty for ever day since May 9th that you haven't acquired the song Chasing Cars) is to repeat a lyric from a verse of the track Hands Open:

Put Sufjan Stevens on
and we'll play your favorite song
"Chicago" bursts to life and your
sweet smile remembers you

Snow Patrol gets it.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

not dead yet

how, you may ask, will i be able to keep up with nate at he travels towards oblivion. well its going to be easy. when you're sitting at the computer wondering "is elbrecht dead?" you will have the answer right at your fingertips.

damn that is a sweet earth you might say.

Monday, May 22, 2006

After many moons of silence....

Justin speaks! below is one of the funniest emails i have received, ever:


Drew P. Windstalker:

i also just signed up on myspace and it is pretty cool. people were really friendly. i got three friend invites in like the first day! so i was like cool! people like me.!

but drew!!!! it was all a sham! one of the people was the guy who made this myspace thing and the other two are girls who keep blogging me to cum to their websites! i feel so naive! so betrayed!

what i am saying is i need some real internet friends to make me feel good in all the ways it is healthy for a computer and man to feel together goodly. err.. whatever. i am not too articulate this late at night.

well the good news is i am going to buy a pair of powerisers in one month (if you dont know what they are google them right now in a separate page). and i hope to see you somehow this summer.

well write me back tomorrow heY? oh yeah aint ur birthday soon? or did it just happen? are you really 26 now? was that you i made the "if we are still both single when we're 27 we will marry each other" deal with? cause if it was, pretty soon we are gonna have to talk about whether or not we wait till i am 27 or we go ahead and tie the know when u get there. and then we got to talk about who gets the sex change. i vote you. well, i am going to try to marry this girl from texas so hopefully it won't come down to that. oh wait, ummm... well i hope this doesn't make you mad.... but i am going to see if she will take me up on that 27 year old deal. no hard feelings. i hope that this letter somehow accurately conveys my affections for you my good friend andrew. Say hi to all the blog-dogs for me, they're good people.

Justin j-star

Next week Drew will be leaving for a trip to our neighbors to the South. Since this is a trip that is planned solely by Brian Weakley there is a high probability that Drew will meet his maker just after his rental car creaks down in the mountains of Mexico. Brian of course will be able to fight his way back to the USA using a helicopter technique with his unusually large wang. As sole executor of Drew Martin's estate I have decided to divvy up his worldly possessions as follows:

Jared: Drew would like you to have his copy of Mike Tyson's Punch out. He believes that given your recent E3 post no one is more deserving nor would appreciate it more than you.

Cody: Drew has recorded 14 hours of giggling so that on lonely nights when you miss him you will be able to put in a CD grab a pillow and tickle away.

Garrett: Drew leaves you all his used socks and a pile of envy that you are freaking getting married in a month to a baaaaabe.

Nate B: Drew bequeaths you the basketball that rolled around in the back of Clifford for a good 3 years.

Tyler: Drew leaves you a sense of adventure (i.e. Grab two beers and meet me in the F'ing unknown) as well as the photo album he amassed by taking telephoto shots of you. May you come to love your body as much as Drew loves your body.

Paulass: Drew passes down to you his ability to be completely wasted and yet somehow mumble "yust wuuuhhhh..... Wuhhhhh.... one more"

Now there are a few things to also divvy up.

A) I think it is only fair that whoever gets Jodie also should get the rock that Drew has been carrying for a year and hasn't dropped. It makes sense that Paul should receive this honor but I am willing to entertain bids and other offers.

B) Since there will be one less Cal Superfan in the world Drew has requested that in his death a USC or Stanford Superfan be sacrificed. I would be more than happy to carry out this action if someone would direct me to the appropriate Superfan.

C) Someone will have to take on the roll of falling ass backwards into concert tickets, high paying jobs and peace protests.

D) There will need to be a historian appointed to retell the stories of the Emerson years (adding 2 to 3 new alterations a year).

E) Finally there will need to be someone to explain to Drew's mother that Drew has simple decided to become a Trapist monk (the non-beer brewing kind) and due to his vow of silence he will never be able to talk to her again.

Optical Inch

Please watch this.

there is a music video. and it is oh so worth it.

Sunday, May 21, 2006

Well, Crap!

This guy's going home. I, for one, am dissappointed. And there, Drew, you can look at this instead of the Atari.


Saturday, May 20, 2006

Everything is Illuminated

Go rent it. its good.

(this post was fairly unneccessary but i was really getting sick and tired of reading about the atari convention everytime i clicked on the blog.)

Thursday, May 18, 2006

My Space

This is a beauty that was found on My Space by a guy at my work... check this out.

Brad,
It would be difficult for me to be any more miserable right now, I feel like the worst person ever. First, let me start by saying that I am truly truly sorry, and I hate myself for hurting you. Of all the people in the whole entire world, you were honestly the last person that I would ever want to wrong in any way. There is no excuse at all or anything that happened, so I won't even try other than to say all of us had WAY too much to drink, and I did a stupid thing. I can handle you being pissed at me, I absolutely deserve it, I can even handle the ugly words that were exchanged between us, what I can't handle is thinking that you see me as a different person.It is weird, I feel like I just went through a horrible break up or something. The world looked funny yesterday, I couldn't crack a smile if you paid me, there are songs I can't listen to, and I just feel beyond crushed. I don't know if you meant everything you said to me, and I am hoping that you didn't. I know that I was wrong on many levels, but I am also hoping that this is something that we can deal with. I know it sounds totally crazy and stupid, but you have come to play such a significant role in my life, I can't imagine my days without you.It is totally strange and weird to say that, and you could say that my behavior didn't reflect that, and you would be correct. I hate feeling like you hate me, and I hate feeling like all of your friends think I am a terrible person, because I am not. I know there is nothing I can Say or do to take back what happened, but I just want you to know that fighting with you was just about the worst thing I could have ever imagined. It was right up there with one of the ugliest nights of my life, and I would give anything in the world to rewind and fix it. I am not sure if you will respond to this, part of me thinks that you won't. If not today, then maybe some other time.Also, thanks for getting my stuff together, although I think my sunglasses are still at your house, if you could keep your eyes peeled for them that would be great. I can't even focus or work today, I can't eat, I seriously feel like it was an ugly break up, and I am hoping against hopes that it was not that and you are not done with me. Please don't cut me off, I really don't think I can handle that.
I am so sorry.
Elizabeth
------------------------------------
RESPONSE:Dear Elizabeth,Thank you for your concern. I'll be sure to file it away under "L" for "Long-winded diatribes from drunken whores I couldn't care less about".You did a stupid thing huh? No...doing long division and forgetting to carry the one is "a stupid thing"; Mixing in a red sock with a load of whites is "a stupid thing"; Blowing some guy in a bathroom for 45minutes while I sit at the bar wondering if you're taking so long because you ate too much bran that morning isn't as much a "Stupid thing" as it is grounds for permanent removal from my social calendar.To be honest, I'm not sure if it was more amusing that you went and degraded yourself in a public toilet not once but twice in a 2 hour span, or that you seemed to think that by saying "Well, I didn't F**k him" somehow gave you a clean slate. So forgive me if I couldn't care less if the world "looked funny" to you yesterday. Since your world revolves around blow dryers, golden retrievers, Prada Bags and Jelly Beans, I'm sure it must have been most unsettling to actually have to consider someone else's feelings for 24 hours straight. The good news for you is that my friends don't think you're a terrible person, they just think you're the average run of the mill cum-guzzling blonde who commands about as much respect as your average child porn collector.I could be wrong but, it's pretty hard to respect some B&T chick who comes out to spend the night at my place even though she's seeing someone else in New jersey and winds up tongue-bathing the taint of anyone who decides 30 minutes of droning commentary on Colin Farrell's new haircut is worth putting up with for a hand job in the men's room. The good thing about being a guy is that when I eventually bump into the young lad who finger-blasted you on top of a towel dispenser last saturday, we'll have a shot and laugh our heads off about the time it happened.By the way, for the amount of time you claim to spend in spin class you really must be doing something wrong to sport the thunder thighs you do. Watching you parade around my bedroom in a thong was a little like watching sea lions mate. Thought you might like to know.
PS. I forwarded about 100 people on this email.
Talk to you never,
Brad

Monday, May 15, 2006

A first

So due to some ill timing on my part the chief of urology at duke university medical center happened to see this picture.


Thats a first for me.

Tickle you say

So Drew's life was spared for two reasons. First, my brother sent me an advanced copy of Sufjan's new album slated to release in June called The Avalanche.

Secondly because while I was searching for the origin to the term jackleg to see if it was indeed a racial slur. Notice the second result. Needless to say I ordered all their albums.

Friday, May 12, 2006

1) The posting tonight was really superb. Especially you Jared. You....you keep doing your thing man. Which is why I'm sad to bring it down a couple of notches with.....

2) Tonight the Bishop family is mourning the loss of its matron, my Grandmother. Tough on us all, but mainly on dad and grandpa. If you guys would be praying for them that would be cool. I'll talk to you all on the lates.

The Worst Baseball Player EVER!

Adrian Beltre is the worst professional baseball player in the MLB. I am so bitter at this douche bag who is the sole reason the M's suck so bad. He is terrible. Sure the pitchers cant throw strikes to save their lives, but it is because Beltre is playing with head up his ass they are scared that if they throw a strike and the ball is hit into play it might go to Beltre and he will boot it or do something stupid. I tried to watch this clusterf#$ of a player tonight and he is awful. I cant handle it. He only made one error but he made at least 4 bone headed plays. three of which costs them runs. I really dont give a rats ass that he went yard in the 8th inning when the game was out of hand. He was the reason it was out of hand. The only good thing I can say about him is that he is 4th in the AL in stolen bases (9). That is it! and I mean it!

I love the mariners! I was looking around the diamond during the game and they do have some really good players. They need to figure it out!

Bobby Livingston is the worst pitcher in the big leagues. I will pay for his ticket back to Tacoma or maybe peoria. He came into the week with a 27.00 era and entering tonights game with a 7.20. Then he went ahead and gave up a 6-spot before getting two outs! (ps. as I am writing this about him, sportcenter is talking about him as well and showing how terrible he is, plus he lost a cow milking contest before the game)

I cant handle this. I am over it.

Go M's!

p.s. I have been thinking about writing a book.

Burned

To all those who have found themselves a past victim of a Nate Elbrecht April Fools...

payback has begun.

some lines may have been flirted with, but in the opinion of this author, were not crossed.

should i mysteriously dissapear... look for the wild eyed man headed for south america via motorcycle with a drew-sized bag across the seat in front of him.

In closing, Happy Weekend:

Take moment to mourn

We've all had fun with him and the past. Who doesn't remember the time Drew, in his drunken state, went running off into the F'ing Unknown only to return a few hours later passing out on a pile of shoes? Who doesn't get a little grin when they think about his girlish squeal when Cody tickles him? Who hasn't divided by 13,000 whenever Drew tries to quote a stat?

Well I must tell you these times are over. Say good by to your precious little Drew. As of 2:37 Central Time, Drew officially signed his own death warrant.

Thank you for the memories Drew. You might be missed.



The Results Are In...


Results of Boycott On May 1st, as a result of the Mexican boycott, National Retailers reported 4.2% lower sales for the day; however, there was a 67.8% reduction in shoplifting.Retailers are hoping for more boycotts.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

St Thomas Island

So the first thing I would recommend if you ever go to St Thomas Island is try and get someone to pay for you to stay in a condo at the Ritz Carlton for a week. On day 1 when our concierge poured us Guava punch with Cruzen Rum I knew I was home. A little snorkeling, a little sailing, a little deep sea fishing and it turns out I really could get used to this place they call paradise. The snorkeling was awesome. I had never done it before and I know now that can really appreciate an afternoon of stalking manta rays and sea turtles.

Just to confirm it was paradise I walked down by the beach on Tuesday that there were people filming a Corona commercial right there. And speaking of Corona all the alcohol was Duty free. So while it was impossible to go eat for under $25 a plate you could purchase a liter of 12 year Glenlivet for $15. And if you wanted to stay on the cheap side for $16 you got two bottles of Crown Royal. This phenomenon made for interesting nights.

It was a lot of fun to have everyone there for a full week prior to the wedding. There were many good late night conversations in the hot tub. All in all it was a good week. I came home with a tan and a few interesting stories.Want to see any more pictures you can go to these sites

Professional Wedding Pictures
Dave's Site

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Not that there's anything wrong with that...

Garrett bought the new Nick Lachey album.

Gay or un-Gay?


PS- note to elbrecht... until sufficient headshots are provided, we are all going to assume she is roughly proportional to your Gyrad date back in the Thompson Hall days.
Brady, how would you describe her?

Monday, May 08, 2006

I'm kicking Drew in the Nuts

There was no Slumpbuster and I will kick Drews ass for invoking that term. If anyone else wants to use that term they will also receive a quick kick in the nuts.

You've been warned.

by the way

Elbrecht.
Virgin Islands.
Slump buster.

Call him.

Thoughts on Heaven inspired by Nate Bishop



you know... upon re reading bishop's post, i have realized two things. 1) this is the first semi serious post in a long time (sorry jared, although i do like super NES as much as the next guy) and 2) it actually started making me think. and point 2 kind of pissed me off a bit. because i prefer my knee jerk asshole cynicism to actually thinking.

so with that being said, i wanted to actually acknowledge the below piece of writing, and just say that i think i was actually a little bit jealous or something about your entire premise... that you actually were excited about the concept of heaven. if you asked me what i thought heaven was like, i could have just responded with the typical biblical answers (you know...the whole "we dont REALLY know but we can infer Gods presence and bright lights and 24/7 david crowder" etc), but it would have lacked any creative dreaming on my part. and i guess i truly wouldnt have been able to say i was "really excited about it" because of that lack of creative dreaming, and my description sure would have lacked your level of passion.

granted, your heaven sounds a bit like the new adventures of Frodo Baggins only slightly more hetero, but you know, whats cool is thats how you picture it and thats why you are excited.

so what do i think heaven is like? i still dont know. but your post has started the wheels turning. And given me hope that maybe, just maybe there might be Saturday morning Cal football games. and steak. and Walker, Texas Ranger. i know, i know, when we do get caught up for reals in the twinkling of an eye, we arent going to even remotely care about such things... but hopefully there will at least be blogs so we can still bust each others balls.

Sunday, May 07, 2006

Intenste Statistical Analysis < Baseball < Creation < God



Note: This post starts with a wild tangent but eventually gets on track. If you don't like it, eat me.

One of the bye products of having more spare time on my hands than anytime since I was a sixth grader counting down till 4:10 PM when all the other kids got home from elementary school has been the chance to read about and study, in depth, the game of baseball. This comes as no great surprise to you faithful readers, I'm sure. The main sub-topic of this study has been what noted baseball author/historian/number cruncher Bill James termed "sabermetrics". The concise explanation is that Bill and his followers are on a holy quest of sorts for statistical knowledge. They reduce every player's performance to a set of numbers, from counting stats, ratio, percentage, you name it. It's incredibly in depth and fascinating especially if you like math and/or baseball. Since the movement is relatively new and had its genesis outside the network of Major League Baseball, it has had a tough road to acceptance amongst the teams. This is mainly due to the fact that the European system of Aristocracy, Nepotism and Cronyism that America has worked so hard to rid itself of is alive and well in the form of organized baseball. The battle between the "old school" of scouting, gut feel and value on things like the "athletic face" and the "new school" of hard statistical analysis has been termed by some as the holy war for the soul of baseball.
My point is, for the last year of reading and studying sabermetrics and watching the game, I've been a hard core stats guy. I mean, there is alot of evidence out there that for years baseball has been placing a premium value on the wrong things and these Harvard Grads with their "nerd machines" are going to revolutionize the game by focusing more on On Base Percentage and Extra Base Hits than Bicep Size and 40 Yard Dash time. But if I was truely honest with myself, I had to admit that there was something to the human element of baseball. These guys aren't soulless machines. Even though sabermetricians will provide you with evidence that there is no such thing as a "clutch hitter" when I watch the game David Ortiz is routinely dropping bombs in the late innings of games in the same situations when Alex Rodriguez is 'gine slapping balls back to the pitcher and then trying to knock them out of their hands. The realization I came to was that the unbelievably complex and in depth study of sabermetrics can only provide us with part of what makes a successful baseball player. It doesn't register how a player responds when he gets booed, or when he gets out of bed and his back is sore. It doesn't say if he can block out his sick mother in the hospital while Mauriano Riviera brings a 97 mile an hour cutter at his johnson. Suffice to say, the depth and detail that comprise the game of baseball is immense. You can study its history, stats and watch games for your whole life and still not begin to understand everything about the game. That got me thinking; if you could study baseball, by all measures a tiny and insignificant part of modern culture let alone world history, and spend your whole life learning more about it, than there were probably literally tens of thousands of things you could do with your life and find it equally deep, challenging and rewarding. You could study Egyptian History, or Physics, or the Family Structure of the *click click tock tock* tribe of the African Desert. The more you think about it, the more staggering the complexity, depth and sheer volume of "stuff" this universe we live in has in it. With these overwhelming thoughts swirling in my noodle I sat down and tried to figure out if I could really believe in a God that was so powerful that he could create all of this merely by his will. If I can, and he is the God of the Bible He is something so much greater and so much more powerful than anything I could possibly comprehend. As I tried to grasp this for the first time in my life I became excited by the prospect in Heaven. Let me explain.
We live in a world where our fantasies are given to us faster and more intensely than anytime before us. In the past, if you wanted to save a damsel from a dragon, or climb the highest peak of the highest mountain you had to read about it and then transfer that into your imagination. Now, we can see the grandest battles, the most intense action, and the most sexual encounters from the comfort of our computer screen. The irony of all this is that as our fantasies grow more intense and realistic our lives grow further and further apart from these dreams. We live in a time when it feels like it's not even worth trying because everything's been done and everything's been said. The only thing left is wit, sarcasm and parody. I'd like to think in Heaven the plains are so fast, and the mountains so plentiful and steep that we can explore forever. There our fantasies don't have to be seen and read about because we will be writing our own epics and singing our own songs that we create everyday with our spectalcualr deeds of daring do, and our grand conquests and victories.
I'm probably wrong, and heaven is probably nothing like that. But I hope if it isn't its something better that I can't imagine. The point is, if God can cram so much interesting stuff into a minute part of an unimportant game popular for a couple hundred years of the worlds history in the northern half of a continent, than heaven is something that we will never understand, even when we're there. As for that God character, he's just simply too much.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Krav

Well for those of you who dont know... I have been getting heavily involved in the world of Krav Maga. As my Krav Maga workouts have been intensifying, the bad news is I am dropping the weight I have really been counting on to throw people around with. So I am trying to counteract that. but the GOOD news is that now I can straight up wreck you in the face. Thats just what I do.

Common question: What the heck IS Krav Maga?

I think I will let this do the talking for me:

Behold the mighty power of Krav:

Monday, May 01, 2006

It's times like these...

I realize why I get up in the morning.