Where is God in all this?
So I’m listening to Derek Web’s album When I See Things Upside Down which I haven’t listened to for at least 6 months. Now I know Derek Webb is no Geoff Moore and the Distance and he, sure as hell, isn’t near as sweet as Carmen (Satan Bite the Dust). Hold on a minute Bishop I agree he is no Bach and in certain moods I would much rather listen to Zack de la Rocha raging against the proverbial machine (filthy commie). Dave Grohl has never failed me (I’ve waited Everlong for him) and I have this sneaking suspicion that someone out there is actually getting the best of me.
Music references aside for now I have to say my mind has been turning since Paul asked where God is in all this. Add to that Bishop’s music comment, Cody’s comment and Paul’s response and there is a lot swimming in my head. I will try and respond.
Where is God in all this? I would guess both next to us and also sitting in the corner of the room if we want him to. God tends to be a real person about that sort of stuff. When we are pissed or confused or depressed or happy and comfortable he might be hanging out with us kicking up his feet or he may just be sitting in the corner of the room and silent. It’s a lot like my friends. It can be a lot like other persons. You can be in the same room and feel lonely or just cut off all communication. Okay you probably know this already in your head.
Where is God in all this? Fuck I don’t know. Sometimes he is talking to me when I’m reading the bible sometimes I sit down to read it and all I hear is the newest CD’s I am listening to. Sometimes I’m riding my bike or hiking in the woods and sweating my ass off and there he is. He’s talking to me and its better than chatting it up with a person you can see. Sometimes I’m hiking and biking and I can’t stop being angry and I’m the only one in the woods. At times I have been stuck in traffic and it’s the most refreshing time ever. I just stick in Rich Mullin’s and when I sing Hold Me Jesus I mean it. When I sat in chapel and the gospel choir got up to lead worship (or anyone else for that matter) all I can think about is looking around the room and thinking up new reasons to dislike everyone.
Where is God in all this? At the end of the day I can’t shake the knowledge/belief/feeling that he is here even when I don’t want him to be here. Talbot did one good thing for me. My freshman year I would go to chapel 5 times a week in order to get them over as soon as possible. I was sitting in Talbot chapel and the Talbot dean gave a talk. He said that for every person that looses or falls away from God in the hard times he will show you 10 people who lose God in the easy times. In 1994 I went to
Where is God in all this? I was reading an article in World Magazine (an incredibly Christian conservative weekly magazine but it has some good articles here and there) and there was an article with an interview with a Chinese missionary. He said please don’t pray that persecution ends in
Where is God in all this? 4 months into living in
Where is God in all this? Two years ago in the boundary waters I tripped and fell right into Jesus’ arms. I was pumped about being a canoe guide and doing ministry and leadership training while taking a week long canoe/camping trip. The first couple trips I took out went amazing. The groups really grasped what I was teaching and they were loving the trip. Then came that third week. All day on day 1 they complained. Complaining like I had never heard. Then day two and the same thing except a little more intense. At the end of day 2 I had one last monster portage of a mile and a half. I had a kid in my canoe who has experienced a little sun sickness and dehydration. When we got to the portage I gave one kid a backpack in the canoe and sent him off down the trail. There I was to carry the canoe and food pack all alone (the food pack weighs about 90lbs on day 2). So I stumbled down the trail with a 70lb canoe and 90lb food pack on just hating life. When I got to the end a girl who had been really driving me crazy had dropped her water bottle in the middle of the trail and asked me to go back for it (damn). So I ran back on the trail and seemingly randomly met up with Johnny, another guide coming through. He was having the worst trip of the year too and we just sat and prayed for a little bit. One day 3 God showed up. I was preparing everyone to set off and I opened to John and read the verses where Jesus washes his disciple’s feet. JESUS, THE PERSON WHO IS EQUAL WITH GOD, THE PERSON WHO WAS SITTING NEXT TO GOD PRIOR TO COMING TO EARTH, THE PERSON WHO CREATED US. Even with all that Jesus wants to wash his Disciple’s feet; even Judas’ feet knowing he will betray him. As I was reading that I just lost it. Hardly ever cry in front of people but I couldn’t even talk. Jesus, a real person, did all that and here I am frustrated about having to carry a backpack and canoe. I’m such a fucking pussy. And y’know what? Jesus wants to hang out with me.
Where is God in all this? When I started typing this I was going to say this. Last weekend I went camping with the McKinley’s Men. It is one of the best times of my year and I look forward to the next campout the second it ends. In order to get to that experience I had to set aside time and leave work early. I had to drive two and half hours and I had to hike a mile and a half into the campsite. I wouldn’t trade those relationships for anything. Relating to those men helps me understand God and how I relate to him. If I hadn’t put in the discipline to meet the McKinley’s Men I would have missed that bit of the relationship. If there is a spiritual parallel (and I think there is) then I will let you Biola grads make it yourself.
Where is God in all this? Maybe we just have to recognize how much we need God in all this.
Where is God in all this? He is helping us ask these questions I think. He seems to be there when I ask him to be. He also seems far away sometimes. Sometimes I pick up my bible and it is a struggle to give him time. But, you know what? It was hard for me to find the 45 minutes to write this post.
posted by Nate @ 11:11 AM
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1 Comments:
holy shit. that was awesome.
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