Mostly Just Questions???
WARNING: Spiritual sharing and unintentional Christianese ahead!!
I was thinking today, as I have a tendency to do, about my spiritual life. Maybe more like my lack of a spiritual life. I find it interesting the number of posts and/or comments on the blog about a general feeling of something missing in our lives, namely God's tangible presence. In his "I've had a few" post, Paul seemed to give a good summary. We all believe that there is a God and that He is the God of the Bible, but where is he in our lives? He's there somewhere, isn't he? Sometimes, I can look back and see that God must have been involved, but I sure couldn't sense it at the time. I haven't prayed (besides at meals with Tara) in quite some time. I haven't read the Bible more than a couple times in the last several months either. In all sincerity, I do want something real with this God that I have been told so often wants a relationship with me, but I'm tired of all the fake bullshit. Aside from that, I'm afraid of Hell. Does anyone else feel like, at least in part, their drive toward Christianity is a result of a fear of Hell?
I also started thinking about some other issues that may or may not be related. I have talked to some of you about these already, but spell it out for me again. Some of the answers are probably pretty obvious, but I'd like to hear about them anyway.
Why are there such bitter feelings toward Biola?
Why are there such bitter feelings toward Residence Life?
Why are there such bitter feelings toward Stan?
I ask those questions because those three things had such positive impacts on my life....at least I thought they did. It's just interesting to me that so many people had the exact opposite experience with things that I loved. What did I miss that everyone else seems to understand?
posted by Cody @ 12:09 AM
8 comments
8 Comments:
Cody-
hi.
you asked three questions. i have three answers, from my point of view anyway.
1- Biola was the best 4+ years of my life, mostly because i met people like you. i have no problem with biola at all... i even liked chapels and singspirations. torrey is pretty gay, though. i credit biola with giving me the opportunity to go on a missions trip which pretty much changed my life and jacked up my worldview. but i think some people, possibly myself included, use the terms "biola" and "res life" interchangeably.
2- Res Life- res life sucks ass and i hate them all (Except for you, all i tried to do was stay out of your hair). Plus one time Danny tried to touch my bathing suit areas.
3- i have no negative feelings towards stan at all. someone else is going to have to field this one. i consider him one of my best friends and love him to death.
i mean seriously, res life is the biggest bunch of pricks. Anyone who has ever had to experience a res life disciplinary hearing knows what i'm talking. its all "Christianese" and "Please describe your walk with God and while youre at it, could you rate your sin for us on a scale of 1 to 10?" I shit you not, that was a direct quote from one of those assholes.
its like this "ultra-christian", elitist group of judgemental bastards that look down on anyone who messes up for the rest of their biola careers (and rest of their lives really), and only reaches out to a small group of goody two shoes kids who they think are weak minded enough to be brainwashed and molded however they want, to create another super-race of judgemental bastard pricks.
This would be my view of res life even if they didnt make it their mission to destroy my life. Somehow cody came out of the program relatively unscathed, although he did lose his sense of humor when it comes to Apartment Guides and Bone Thugs.
brady makes a good point about the vowel thing. i may have to re-evaluate.
1)I think that my bitterness towards Biola has dimmed somewhat. I do believe that their unrealistic expectations of students (get good grades, go to chapel, do a ministry, be involved in church and oh yeah we want you guys to relax and try to be balanced and well rounded) is kind of silly and I do wish that they weren't to foolishly puffed up about being The Christian School that Doesn't Compromise but they are primarily a school. Their job is to educate. I chose not to let them. My fault as much as theirs. Besides, like Dru said the people I met at Biola are the primary benefit of that time.
2)See I can understand completely why this is confusing to you because most people that get involved with Res-Life really like it. This is the result of two factors: one, and again I'm speaking in generalities here, the people that are involved with Res-Life are the type of people that like Res-Life. Also they tend to enjoy control, structure and the Old Testament. Two, Res-Life does not do jack shit for people who aren't involved in it. It serves to create a nice little peer group for people involved in Res-Life especially those that normally can't make friends due to the fact that they are too preoccupied with control, structure, etc. However, 98% of the student body does not respond to forced community. Especially as college freshman and sophmores when most of us are experiencing freedom for the first time. We want to do our own thing, damnit. And we don't want a floor meeting to get in the way of it.
3) Man Stan and I just intersected at the wrong time in our lives. I didn't understand any of his Staness going into us being roomates so when he would talk about hanging out and getting to know each other I naturally didn't assume that meant let's do pushups and then go hang out with chicks. Because of that I let Stan in waaaaaaaaaaay further than I normally would have and he burned me. He burned me good. And I was at a point in life when I needed people to not give me shit about stuff and that's all I felt he did. It's mostly in the past for me and I can see why people love him. He's still a douchenozzle but I understand how important he is to you and I can see how the reasons he drives me crazy are the same reasons people love the guy.
why should i be afraid of hell? I grew up next door in Missoura.
Cody,
in all seriousness, for once, might i suggest the gospel according to Don Miller, aka, Blue Like Jazz?
It is not "the answer" to all your questions, but it has some pretty cool insight.
un like drew i would like to suggest the gospel according to.... oh thats right GOD.
no honestly i have a post on this forthcoming.
Who?
Post a Comment
<< Home