It is now time
for me to tell my story.
I arrived at the ballpark at 8:29am on monday morning in hopes being able to celebrate in the clubhouse with the greatest team in baseball history. (man I hope you guys get my sarcasm in that). I do have to admit I did want to angels to win because I do not like the yankee my wankees. so anyway I show up and work and run around this friggn stadium like a ******** running from the *******. I am wearing a suit through all of this and as most of you know I have a little bit of a pit out problem. but that is ok. so then I get a call from the clubhouse manager and he asked if I could help out from the 9th inning on in the clubhouse so I of course said sure. so I sit through the whole game watching nervously, why? I dont know. I then head down to the clubhouse at the end of the 8th and immediately take off my coat jacket and and shirt and tie and begin helping put plastic all over the place and wheeling in the barrells of beer and champange. I then wait for the game to end and then it begins. Players begin pouring into the clubhouse and going straight for the champange. I then sneek off behind the plastic just to keep a low profile so I dont get complelety douched. and because I figure the players probably dont want some gay intern in the clubhouse trying to sneek a peak at their peckers. I stayed dry for about 3.2 seconds before Tim "I've been on the bench with an injury since the late 80's" Salmon comes over to me and completely covers me in champange. so then it was on. so I walk in and just mosey around to find someone to drink a beer with and try to stay out of the way thinking most of these people dont even know my name or that I exist even though I have been in there everday this season. so as soon as I start to dry a little or get sticky a little. John lackey comes over and yells "Garrett, grab a beer, you need a beer and get shit faced!!" while he starts to pour champange on my head. and then the bullpen catcher, steve soliz sees this happening and yells "GA!!' and pours some as well. I then grab a beer and drink it then look up to find a camera right in front of me on Adam kennedy with me in the background. cool, I m on tv right now. I think as I remeber jill telling me that she told her parents to watch tv after the game and look for me so I had better behave. so I finish my first beer and go for another and get half way through my second beer when I see my boss come over to me, Oh crap, I think as I try to find a way to ditch my beer so I slyly toss it into the trash before she gets to me. she then asks me to go to the office (other side of the stadium) and grab something. I am drenched at this point by the way. so I run back to the office, by the way I am buzzed at this point. get the stuff and come back, mean while people are looking at me saying, no way you are down there right now partying. and I said, play with it, yes I am. so I go back down there and continue walking around getting and giving hugs from bengie moline, vlad, juan rivera, ervin santana, darin erstad, adam kennedy, paul byrd. and then people start calming down and getting things ready to go. I then start picking up uniforms and putting them in the laundry, they reak by the way. I reak. I finish packing everything up and loading the cart and they take the stuff to the truck to go to chicago. I then go home at 10:32pm. and get to bed because Ihave to be at work this morning at 8:30am again. I then watch the rerun of So Cal sports report and there is an interview going on with me in the background lifting something up to my mouth but you cant quite see it. it worked out pretty well. and I hear peole as I walk in this morning say, hey garrett, saw you on tv. look like you were having fun last night. So yeah, that is my story and now my one and only suit needs to be dry cleaned before friday.
GO HALOS!!!
great post by the way bishop. rex is a nozzle still!
posted by Garrett @ 12:49 PM
9 comments
9 Comments:
Holy Shit!!! I don't care if Garret is Druing up that story that is so freakin' funny. Well done the G. Well done. Please just get a job with another team so I don't feel a pang of hate run through me when I see you reference your employer.
First of all, Bishop, i dont think its fair to just make a verb out of my name that diminishes my credibility.
Second of all, Garrett, that is freaking awesome. to bad that Angels are all doucheholes.
bish, that was actually playing it down a little, believe it or not. I dont think I have time or space to explain all that went on, but it was pretty crazy. and yes I was getting hug from those guys. nuts huh?
Did you consider giving any of them the reach around? Is that even possible from Bengie?
Was Vlad screaming in some unintelligable language?
Me gusta my own farts
Hey the G. Can I suck on your suit before you send it to the dry-cleaners?
I hope Garret gets a job with a real team some day. Nate's anonymous dad.
Please tell me that is the esteemed Mr. Elbrecht and my father has NOT discovered this blog.
mr. elbrecht doesn't computer
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