A Doctor For My Nurse
My lovely, and normally serene, wife woke me up last night at 1 a.m. to tell me through tears that she had severe pain in her lower back and abdomen. I drove her to the emergency room where she delivered a beautiful baby girl. Wouldn't that be a nice ending? Actually, she had a kidney infection, which apparently is like having someone grab hold of the poor, unprotected organs and give them a good squuueeeeeze. Anyway, we were at the hospital and at the pharmacy aferward, until 5 a.m. No sleep for me.
First of all, I've never really understood why there's a waiting room for the emergency room. Isn't that the whole idea and definition of an emergency? This can't wait! I need to see someone NOW! If this could wait, I would go to a normal doctor's office. What is all this, fill-these-out-and-have-a-seat bullshit? Have a seat? Her kidneys are hanging out of her ass. She can't sit down!
I'm not sure how some of those "medical professionals" get and keep their positions, but there needs to be a stricter screening process. The nurse who brought Tara the medication told her to take the pills with plenty of water so the infection wouldn't spread up to her kidneys. THAT'S WHY YOU BROUGHT HER THE MEDICATION...FOR HER KIDNEY INFECTION! STUPID BITCH!!
Then, on the way out, we had to stop by the window to give them our medical insurance information. Tara hasn't gotten the insurance card in the mail yet, so she gave the lady the temporary insurance paper she had been sent with all the same info on it. The lady at the window asked, "Did your insurance company send you this?" To which I answered, "No, I typed it up on my computer during the drive over.....what, are there spelling errors?" FUCKIN, STUPID BITCH!!
I'm better now and I am glad to say that Tara is a lot better as well...after some antibiotics and vicodin. I thought I would just share some of the wonders of ER with you. That place was nothing like the show. Next time, I want Dr. Green and an IV with however many CC's of whatever. He's no bitch.
posted by Cody @ 11:59 PM
3 comments
3 Comments:
oh man, cody, i feel bad for your wife but that post was some of the funniest shit EVER... i am guessing Tara works at a different hospital than that or did you go to hers?
Agreed. Tara's kidneys=sucks. Situational comedy=HILARIOUS!!!!!!
I thought doctors had to take that hippopotamus oath. Back in my day we would have cured a kidney infection with smeklers powder.
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