My Rage Against the Machine....
There was a time, growing up as a sheltered homeschooled lad who got four locals channels on the tv (five on a clear day) when the idea of watching ESPN everyday was more exciting than all the Charlston Chew I could eat. When the Bishop family would vacation in such exotic locals as Eastern Washington or Southern Utah one of my favorit things was watching Sportscenter on the cable tv wherever we stayed. The information was so plentiful, the highlights so amazing and the anchors so entertaining that I would watch the same Sportscenter at 10pm, 11pm and then the following morning at 8. In the days before the internet where the only alternative to Sportscenter was scanning box scores in the local paper (a tradition which continues today by the way) a 24/7 sports station was too good to be true.
It's over. ESPN is dead to me.
At what point did ESPN transition from reporting the news to creating the news simply to fill their schedule with breathless hacks like Woody Paige and Skip Bayless bantering away at each other? When did it not become enough to tell the stories but to tell us also how we should feel about it? ESPN has become a gargantuan monkey on the back of sports fans. They have their toe in every facet of the media; Magazine, check. Huge web site, check. Full services sports mobile phone services, check. The amount of sheer information at your fingertips thanks to the Worldwide Leader is mind boggling. This would be great if they didn't constantly tell you A) we're great. Love us. and B) We will also be the moral compass for all that is sports. The second one especially pisses me off and I know that this is something my esteemed colleague Nate M. Kerr has harped on before. I really don't give a flying rats ass what Scoop Jackson thinks about the Duke Lacrosse scandal. Nothing to due with Duke Lacrosse even belongs anywhere near the headlines of a sports network, especially something that doesn't even have to do with Lacrosse. What's my solution to this problem? Well it's to assign a scapegoat for all of my frustration and take it out on him of course. I therefore, give you this man.....
The "Grand Poobah" of ESPN offends the soul on so many levels. His humour tired and canned, he is a shameless self promotor and name dropper. Worst of all he is an egregious panderer to the social interest story. This ass has a "Top 10 plays of the week" segmant on the Sunday Sportscenter. This should be awesome. There are so many amazing athletic accomplishments in any given week that this should be some of the most entertaining TV of the week. Instead Berman insists on shoving feel good crap down your throat. This past week his number one "play" of the week was Baseball celebrating Jackie Robinson day. There was no highlight, just some ol black people in the stand clapping away. GGGGGGAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't need some fatass telling me that I should be awed by the accomplishments of Jackie Robinson as man and a human being, especially not in a segment that should be showing me the latest Vince Carter Jam or Albert Pujols bomb. For the love of all that is right in this world Chris, report the news or go away. We would all be indebted to you.
So there. That's my off the cuff rant at ESPN. I didn't even bring up how their influence has become so great that you could convincingly argue that sports teams not located in the Eastern Time Zone are at a legitamte competitive disadvantage due to the lack of coverage given them by this arrogant, insufferable orginization. They are evil, and they must be stopped. You now may resume your viewing of Bonds on Bonds.
posted by Nate B @ 12:23 PM
7 comments
7 Comments:
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Amen!
However, being still in the dark ages (or just poor) (or just thrifty) (or just not one to waste my money on something that would waste my time) I do not have cable, and thus do not have ESPN. So, any time I'm anywhere near a TV with cable I will watch it until my eyes dry out. It's like some kind of drug!
And... I hate Chris Berman. Possibly more than anyone else who does not have cable can possibly hate that man. WHOOP!
I have to agree with almost the entire post...however, I do think the Duke Lacrosse scandal should be on there along with any other scandal that goes with teams or athletes:Dennis Rodman, Jose Conseco, Mike Tyson, Kobe Bryant, Marcus Vick, Minnesota Vikings Cruise Ships, Darryl Strawberry, Pete Rose, etc. etc. I could go on and on. Not only do I enjoy hearing about all of that shit,it also influences my rooting/hating interests. Even though it's their personal lives and not specifically sports related, I think it belongs in ESPN news...in all of its forms.
I guess I can begrudgingly agree with all that except in when it drags things like Duke Lacrosse into the news. Duke Lacrosse is not sports tv worthy. Nobody outside of Durham would ever mention Duke Lacrosse if it wasn't for something that has nothing to do with Lacrosse. That's the fundamental difference between this and the examples you cited Cody. All those other people were famous athletes who were already in the news. Duke Lacrosse has no relavence to sports. Society, yes. Sports, no.
I agree with some and I disagree with some...ESPN very rarely talks about things that have to do with sports. I am over everything that is Bonds! I do like Chris Berman, though. I talked to him on the phone one time and he was really cool. On tv, he is kinda a tool though. As far as the Duke LAcrosse thing. I bet if ther were white they wouldnt even talk about it on ESPN but if the players were black everyone would be talking about it! OH WAIT, they are white and it is on everytime I turn on the tv. I am over the racial card. seriously! sick of it!
If I had time to watch ESPN...I may have something to say...but no. I need a beer...tis all.
i think my favorite part of this post was when you cried GAAAAAYYYY because i actually had to scroll down to see if this was Garrett writing the post. for some strange reason i was even more pleased to find it was in fact bishop, proof that Garret-isms continue to infect us all, even from miles and miles away.
this seems like a good time to point out that Cal's womens lacrosse team wins more often then their men's rugby team (still riding a De La Salle like 13 year winning win streak...).
i think this has been an informative comment.
Post a Comment
<< Home