I'm late.........
Man here's too hoping I don't here these words for a long, long time. The title is actually referring to this post. I would like to point out that it would have come much sooner except a) I've been busy makin' coin and b) I was under the distinct impression that Tyler was going to write a detailed account of the thanksgivings. Instead, we have only Tyler's funny picture and extremely cryptic message about an ass kicking. Allow me to clarify:
THANKSGIVING 2005!!!!!!!!
Monday - Mandy and I fly to Phoenix. Our flight is not only packed but packed with an unbelievable amount of small children, all of whom scream their snotty little guts out the entire flight. This is all exacerbated by the plane sitting on the tarmac for a good 35 minutes before taking off. Why is it that none of these factors ever occur independantly but only act as some sort of three headed monster, or "axis", of evil. Sort of like the anti-trinity. Good times. Suffice to say that Mandy and I were sufficently encouraged to continue leading our private, self-absorbed lives and to never have children.
Tuesday - A strange day indeed. We spent the night at Mandy's friend Sarah's (holla the G!) apt. In the morning her friend Amy came over to join us. Well the lady's were planning on hanging out with Mandy's maid of honor, Erin. Now Erin is a nice enough gal but none the less the exact opposite of Mandy and her friends (has many children, anti-alchahol, boycotting Target because Jesus told her so, etc.). Due to these unfortunate differences Mandy and Amy and Sarah, known henceforth in this post as MAS, tend to not look favorly upon time with Erin. To sum it all up MAS decided that the best option was to all start drinking at 9:30 in the AM and not stop until Erin showed up at about 11:30. Classy. Anyways they all took off for a healthy dose of shopping, gossiping and breast-feeding. Which left me alone for the whole day. I proceeded to have one of the best days of my life as I, in order, watched Anchorman, had lunch, saw Walk the Line, bought and watched The Iron Giant (best animated movie, ever), had In-n-out, watch Adam Morrison go nuclear on Michigan State, and then read about 150 pages of The Brothers K. I love my wife very much but I confess that I felt a certain loss when she and her friends returned. Thus was Tuesday.
Wednseday - My first sight of the Thompson house in its boxed up state (for those of you who don't know, Mandy's mom is selling the house and moving to the WA. Yikes). A very sad thing a house in boxes. Anyway today marked the eagerly anticipated arrival The Legend of Tyler Thompson and his beautiful, charming girlfriend, Elizabeth Browning. Since the flight got in at 11:05 and we had a half an hour drive ahead of us we took off at 11:02 when Mrs. T got back late from school, her excuse being that she didn't want to drive around in circles at the airport. Well a few wrong turns at the airport took care of that problem as we went around twice. Fortunately it was a light travel day. Anyways with Tyler and Liz safely in tow we took a tour of the greater Pheonix area which proved, irrefutibally, that Phoenix is in a big fucking desert. When evening rolled around a bunch of people came over to the house for a Thompson house goodbye/birthday party for me. After this schindig some of us headed out to Scottsdale (the Newport of Pheonix) for some good old-fashioned barring/clubbing. The thing about clubbing is that it entails dancing. Now I hate dancing like Jared loves EGM so I wasn't looking forward to this. Suffice to say that when we all stepped foot in the trendy Scottsdale club Myst my sole purpose in life became getting out of there as fast as I possibly could. It was here, in my absence, when Tyler's fury was fully unleashed. Now keep in mind that since I was not there I desperately wish that we could hear Tyler's account of this incident. However, since he has not graced us with this I will tell it as told by his girlfriend.
It seems as though Tyler noticed a certain guy who kept doing a certain dance move known as "the grind" upon unsuspecting ladies of the club. Well when Tyler saw this same gentleman about to perform his signature move on my wife/his sister he decided to politely ask said dancer to not try to "get freaky" with Mandy. Well due to the intoxicating blend of intoxication, club music and hip gyration Tyler was unable to perform this action without first running over and shoving said freaker across the club. Suffice to say that the would be dancer didn't care for this. After which Tyler and he got close enough to kiss and said a few words. It seemed as though Tyler's combatant would triumph but just when he seemed to be defeated Tyler cocked a single eyebrow and instantly the fight went out of "Cory". He immediately bought Tyler a drink, gave him his phone number and is rumored to have invited Tyler over for Christmas. Another crisis averted by The Legend. Meanwhile I called Paul for some reason thinking he wouldn't be out on a wednseday night shit faced at a club at 11:00. My bad Paulass, my bad.
Thursday - Thanksgiving. Turkey, family, football. Dinner was on the back patio in 80 degree weather. Weird, weird shit. I read about 100 more pages of the Brothers K. My life starts to change forever with each turning of the page.
Friday - My birthday. Tyler and Liz left in a Uhaul. Mandy hooked up with the A and the S to form MAS and we went out with Amy's boyfriend Jason for dinner. Our restaraunt had a "chili beer" which was not only hot, but even hotter when included with an entire Jalapeno. This single libation ruined my night before it got started when it proceeded to do the cha-cha in my stomach for about six hours. Fucking chili beer.
Saturday - We fly out, our flight was way, way, way better than the other way. We get home. Sleep. prepared for another week of work, church and crappy Seattle sports. Little did I know.....
posted by Nate B @ 9:53 PM
4 comments
4 Comments:
if tyler and i were about to throw down, and he cocked his eyebrow at me, i would shit my pants.
if he pointed at me and said "boo-ya" there is no telling what i would do.
possibly climax.
Don't you cheat on me. I'll roundhouse kick you to the middle east bitch!!!
Come on Bishop just try me. I promise nothing will happen.
Mwah ha ha
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