Justin Speaks....
The minutes tick closer to Justin Jacot’s debut here in the F’ing Unknown. The thing about Justin is… he isn’t at his computer very much. All he does if film movies. He is the one of the happiest and most fun people to be around I know. Wherever he is, he is happy to be there. He lives in Manitoba, Canada where he attends film school. It is the coldest point in North America. This is the only place on earth he can actually exist because of his ungodly allergies. All he does is film movies all day, and dance at nightclubs all night. The first time I ever laid eyes on Justin, he was riding a longboard through Downtown Danville, wearing a sombrero and twirling a pair of nun-chuks over his head. He also keeps a collection of T shirts in his freezer. One of the first times I was at his house, he asked me if I “wanted a cold one”. I said sure, he took a T shirt out of the freezer and tossed it to me. I didn’t know how to respond to that.
Some of you might remember Justin from his first and only appearance in southern California, when he exploded upon the Mccomber Creek apartments like a ticking time bomb. This included drinking in the hot tub late into the night after trying to entice a group of drunken mexicans into a little scuffle to show off his third degree black belt abilities, followed by drinking with Paul in the living room until the sun came up, each buzzed off their rocker and trying to out-talk the other, followed by waking up and dancing to “Brown Girl in the Rain” all afternoon, convinced the whole time he was dancing to a song called “Brown Bear in the Bag”.
The next appearance of Justin on our little group occurred in Seattle at Nate Bishop’s bachelor party and wedding, where he, to say the least, made quite a splash on the greater Port Orchard area. As Justin, Tyler and I fled into the woods, authorities in hot pursuit, Tyler and I were a little worried about getting lost. Not Justin. He kept insisting he could “find his way back.” “Don’t worry guys! I have never not been able to find my way back.” He had nearly a dozen Coronas in his system. Yet somehow, at the time, Tyler and I believed him. We almost died out there, in that F’ing Unknown. But dammit, we DID find our way back. And I think Justin may have had a small part in that.
By far my favorite Justin memory, came in his last night in Danville, before going back to Manitoba for his final year of film school. Justin decided that not enough people had seen his naked body. So he decided to don a homemade Spiderman mask and streak Blockbuster Video, the Danville Bowling Alley, Chevy’s Fresh Mex, In N Out Burger, and a random highschool keggar that was going on in the hills. He came, he saw, he streaked them all, and captured it all on video to boot. He decided he enjoyed streaking so much, he immediately returned to Manitoba and wrote a scene into his latest movie, that featured him streaking.
So that is a little background on Justin. He rarely sits down in front of his computer, but he found time earlier this week, and this is the correspondence that I received:
Email #1
From: Jusman J Star
To: Andrew P. Martin
Subject: The Blog
Invite me to this blog, or i will kill youme (that is the two of us together). You are my only hope.
Love love love love, the last jacot
p.s. i started filming my new movie. Rock da boat yo.
Email #2
From: Jusman J Star
To: Andrew P. Martin
Subject: Why Cant We Be Friends, Why Cant We Be Friends?
Drewpee,Heckdog, i sure does miss ya. And all o' dem others. I read some o' yer blogdogs. I did so liken to them. Thems made me missen for dem ol' days afore me is moved meself to der countryside wheres we don't speak. Geedog, it shore has been a rough transish to the un.
Today, i kept jumping out of trees for fame and fortune. I made a couple funnies (shorts I suppose), and found out that i love nothing more than writing, directing, and acting in movies wherein i do not wear a shirt, though i have gotten a little out of shape in the last couple weeks of worthlessness. I had me a great geburtstag as we say in german, and now have successfully mastered 22 in less than a week. On account of my easy success in mastering said age, I applied for an early 23. I was rejected on the basis that Michael Jordan had retired that number. I don't think they fully understood my request. Either that or i applied to the wrong place.
I wanted to send you something. Something to show how i feel about you. But when i found out the hard way you aren't allowed to ship feces internationally through the post, i decided an alternative. So read my script biatch, when you get time, and by that i mean when you get time in the next 24 hours or you may find your TIME is UP, if you understand my capital drift my friend. God bless and good night. Oh yeah, and there are some mistakes in the script. Don't mind them, or they will mind you.
J-Star
p.s. i have written you twice today. Will i write you once more...Who can say?
And that, ladies and gentleman, is Justin.
posted by drew @ 10:16 AM
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