Grab Two Beers And Meet Me In the F'ing Unknown

Up to no good

2007-01-12T14:35:00.000-08:00

My ability to manipulate documents has been tasked in many different ways in my life. In high school I made a few fake ID´s, though I never wound up using them. My freshman year at biola I took student ID´s of Drew, Brian Weakly and I then pasted the photos on the cast of A Night at the Roxberry. Back at Missouri State I make fake parking tickets to put on friends cars (probably just out of anger since I had accumulated 15 real parking tickets of my own). Then of course I had to manufacture some parking permits for our lovely apartment in Santa Ana which were never used as my car was stolen upon completion of the project.

Well now I´ve got a new sin to add to my document altering list. It seems that the country of Brazil requires a round trip ticket before you can apply for a visa. The requirement is for you to bring in a round trip ticket or itinerary from your travel agent. Having neither I decided to hit up the nearest internet cafe and devise an itinerary for myself. 20 minutes later I had an itinerary in hard to present to the consulate. It seems my skills were sufficient for the consulate to give me the go ahead and I will be picking up my visa on Monday. If I disappear into a Brazilian jail then you probably know why now.

Just one request. If I do disappear into a jail will someone please order a subscription of the Socialist Review for me. It is free for inmates.

Fantasy Basketball

2006-10-05T11:33:00.000-07:00

Okay, I'll set it up...

League Name:

Drew's Court & Cody's Balls

League ID#:

70899

Password:

garrett

Bob Saget is Always Stealing My Ideas

2006-09-29T10:51:00.000-07:00

I bloged about march of the penguins in January. I said that there was a lot of "hot penguin sex". Well, apparently Bob Saget was reading our blog and is now making a move about penguin sex (See link Below). Bob, I was just kidding, penguin sex doesn't really do it for me. But since I gave you the idea, the least you could do is give me a cut of the box office.

Link to Penguin Sex movie

PS. Way to follow up "Snakes on a Plane" Samuel L.

A couple things..

2006-09-22T13:23:00.000-07:00

Drew, Where the heck are you?

here are a couple photos for you all to enjoy.

Please watch this video and turn up the sound so you can hear what the lady in the background is saying. it is something we all wish we had enough balls to pull off.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-7065664391252254512&pr=goog-sl

The Troops

2006-09-17T16:55:00.000-07:00

Well I'm back from Minnesota and packing up this week getting ready to march The Troops Westward. Check out the new site and photo link on the sidebar.

Don't know much about Biology

2006-08-11T10:12:00.000-07:00

I never liked any of my science classes throughout my academic career. I believe that modern medicine can do incredible things; however, the subject has never interested my. I don't even like most doctor shows (E.R. - I don't care, House MD - Crap, Greys Anatomy - Stinky Crap on a stick, Scrubs - Ok). In fact when people show me x-rays from a broken arm or a fractured leg I usually can't tell where the break is. So maybe I'm not "medically" gifted. Maybe the sight of too many bodily fluids starts to gross me out. But you should give me some credit because when I saw the x-ray of my Dads broken leg, I was able to identify where the break was. Look below to see if you can find it.

The shot above was taken after the E.R. doctors had reset the bones. Even after they "fixed it" I was able to identify from the x-ray that something was different.

Well its been a crazy month and a half since I moved to Santa Rosa.

like camping

2006-08-09T13:43:00.000-07:00

drew,

So a couple times a week the fellows co-workers and I have been going to the teams practice facility to play hoops on our lunch break. it is a huge facility that hosts camps and tournaments and all of that. well today we go over there and guess what was going on?

your boy baron davis was holding his camp. so we challenged him to a quick game and...well that last part isnt true, but you could imagine if it was. he was there and i guess it was cool. go warriors

Pro Football Pick'em

2006-08-08T16:56:00.000-07:00

Gentlemen,

Apparently, I'm pretty decent at this online sports shite. So, I set up Yahoo Pro Football Pick'em if you all would like to join. The league name number is 14059 "unknown" and the password is "unknown." Damn, I am creative.

Hope to see you all there.

I've Had the Time of My Life...

2006-07-09T23:08:00.000-07:00

...and I've never felt this way before, yes I swear, it's the truth, and I owe it all to you.

Vegas. Bachelor Party. What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.

I will have a full post coming soon... I promise

2006-06-26T07:25:00.000-07:00

I am back but I am not back. I am at jills parents house until this evening. I will either post tonight or tomorrow. and I promise it will be pretty long. with pictures. but just a preview.. our time since the wedding has included hour long sex sessions, jerry rice, geckos, iguanas, pina coladas, chris quinn, sting rays, turtles, spray lube, and a condom, just for fun.

I love you all and I cant wait to share my story with you.

Travel Advisory

2006-06-23T09:35:00.000-07:00

Elbrecht, you should probably read this before you leave for your travels.

Click Here

Tasha

2006-06-18T12:24:00.000-07:00

Oh yes, Tasha, the love of my Biola life. I mean, what the hell are you talking about? Who the hell is this Tasha?

I can only assume that Drew and Paul made another trip to the Fing Unknown straight up Garrett style this weekend. How else do you explain a phone call at 1:15 a.m. slurring about some chick named Tasha. Granted, I dated most girls at Biola, but am I really responsible to remember all of their names. By no means. Elbrecht will tell you that. Once the dating relationship has ended, I'm not even responsible to remember that we dated.

So, Tashas, Tashas, Tashas:

1) There is Tasha R** del, sister of Dustin R** del, who granted was in love with me at one point. But, that's Dustin's sister. That's totally against the rules. I would be in danger of seeing Dustin's face (the A.C. Slater problem that Zack faced) every time we kissed, and no, we did not kiss.

2) Tasha M*** san, daughter of Romanian Pastor Paul M*** san. She just starting Biola this year or next. I don't think that's even possible. No Drew, no relation to Gorge Mu**an.

3) Tasha Johnson, high school chick that dated my friend Mark. Haven't seen her in years. She was really short though, and a little on the annoying side. Do they let girls like that into Biola?

4) Tasha "dancer" Tasha. This girl danced in the Magic Flute at Biola. Yes, she was hot. I would have wanted to date her were I not already involved with the Brittney H***s and Becca Mor**ans of the world. Wow, I missed out on that one. Please tell me it was her.

That's it. I've racked my brains and I don't know if I know any others. So, is it 1, 2, 3, 4, or none of the above?

2 days.

2006-06-15T16:37:00.000-07:00

The G is about to turn in his V card.

Again.

Censorship

2006-06-14T07:39:00.000-07:00

BETTER DEAD, THEN RED

Dry Heaving

2006-06-13T07:32:00.000-07:00

So this weekend I was trying out my relationship intestines and there was one thing that kept running through my mind. A post called Pride and prejudice 2 - Class Wars. Let me first state that I don't care if you let your male happiness die. Okay that's not completely true but I have come to accept that many men will go ahead and sacrifice their male happiness at the alter of marriage (Garrett you still have time to run. I offer male happiness safe houses in 15 countries on 5 different continents.). I realize some men will come to the conclusion that getting married is a better trade off to being truly happy. I don't think it is right but I know I can't stop it.

That said, here's my beef. Nate Bishop let his male happiness die and then he decided to marry Mandy. Cody's male happiness died as hey wept his way down the isle. Garrett is turning in his male happiness in return for a shiny new BAAAABE. And, I stood right of Jared as he killed his male happiness in an awesome 12 minute ceremony.

So, many of my friends have killed their male happiness. Though I mourn that death I am not daily affected by it. However, on Friday I logged onto the once place I go to bitch about the world and generally make fun of people who are better than me and what do I see?

Okay before I see something, I actually smell something. It's rotting. Let me put this in perspective. In 1996 there was a cow that died on the Elbrecht farm in mid summer. The thing about cows is that they are not small animals. This cow was in fact over 500lbs. Also Missouri summers are not mild. So when a 500+ lb. animal dies it starts to bloat and rot quickly. Now you can’t just leave a cow in the middle of your field to die so I got the tractor and hooked a chain onto this cow. As I started to lift the cow to carry it into the woods the bloated stomach broke open and spewed maggots and methane everywhere. At that moment, while I was dry heaving, I thought to myself surely something could not smell worse than this.

Then Thursday I log onto the FING and there is it. I start to read pride and I dry heave, I read prejudice and I black out for 45 minutes. When I come to the only thing that allows me to make my way outside to life giving oxygen is my seething rage for all things related to pride and prejudice.

You see the FING is a safe place. It is a place one should feel free to be angry at the wrongs of this world; a place where Drew’s hippy flower protests meet with my cold hard realism. The FING is where Cody and Bishop come to cry after once again their Seattle teams play like… well… Seattle teams. This is a place where Paul comes to read and never post. Without the FING in our lives how would we know things? Things like whether or not Brady is still using his best pickup lines on his female high school students and what a Croatian ass looks like. The FING is where the best and worst that is male comes to pretend, albeit for just a moment, that women don’t make all the decisions. When you log onto the FING you expect to that intimate connection with our prehistoric ancestors sitting in the cleft of a rock waiting for a dinosaur to happen by so they could take it down with a few rocks and sticks.

I have thought about going into all that is wrong about pride and prejudice but that would, in fact, mean that I would have to talk about pride and prejudice. Let’s just say FING posts about pride and prejudice containing anything positive to say should be censored from now to 3,000 years after the end of eternity.

P.S. Jordan I’m saying nothing against Jane Austin’s ability to write. Let’s put it this way. If Jane Austin decided to sit down and write a masterpiece on shit, its color, putrid odor, sometimes pasty consistency, it would in fact still be a writing about… shit. In fact you know I think she did write just such a masterpiece. It is called pride and prejudice.

opinion poll

2006-06-09T07:40:00.000-07:00

Alright fellas. I am heading to the store de alcohol this weekend to purchase a tasty beverage for the big day. I need you guys to post your favorite hard liquor so I know you will be pleased when partaking in this sweet nectur.

my favs are:
southern comfort
captain morgan
crown royal

let me know

oh and ps, I will be (in words of my secular friends at the angels) "getting my dick wet" in one week!

Get Your Soccer On

2006-06-09T06:24:00.000-07:00

OLÉ you mother scratchers O-freakin-LÉ

OLÉ

World Cup Soccer Begins Today!

cringeworthy

2006-06-08T23:50:00.000-07:00

In honor of Garrett's impending nuptials, please take the time to view some early home videos of young Garrett when he was an aspiring brodcast journalist.

PS- elbrecht, why does our blog play the audio from "Snakes on a Plane" when it first loads? oh well. i guess i should be greatful its not playing the theme from Little Women, eh Jared?

on the G's early home videos:

Pride and prejudice 2 - Class Wars

2006-06-08T18:24:00.000-07:00

I saw Pride and Prejudice 2 (ok, its just another version). I liked it more then I expected. I have seen the BBC version a couple of times and even read the book. I thought I would list a couple of my thoughts, in no particular order, below.

* I'm glad Jane was hot in this version. Jane is suppose to be prettier then Elizabeth and in the BBC version Jane was nothing to special. This problem was remedied by getting a hot Jane.

* There is still only one Elizabeth for me (See Below).

* There is only one Mr. Darcy for me (See above)

* However, the new Darcy and Elizabeth where fine and I wasn't annoyed by them.

* Mr. Collins in the BBC version is funny and ridiculous. In the new movie I wasn't sure if the actor was trying to play Mr. Collins or Chester the Molester (creepy).

*Both movies are good examples of what dancing would be like if there where no minorities (scary).

*The new version is more artsy. Not so artsy that I hated it; but it was definitely pushing the envelope (see scene where Elizabeth and Darcy are dancing alone).

* ---Caution Spoiler--
The ending of the new version was terrible. It ends with them (obviously in the afterglow stage of intercourse) with some clothes on talking romantically in front of Pemberly. We really didn't need a cheesy ending. A shot of them getting married would have been just fine. It wasn't artsy and it was cheesy.

*The mom in the book is totally ridiculous; I believe they played her down in order to not upset the feminists.

*I liked Donald Sutherland as the father.

*Overall it was good, but the BBC version is so good that it didn't have a sporting chance, especially at 2hrs long.

shatner

2006-06-08T00:45:00.000-07:00

as usual... i dont have the words.

Answers

2006-06-07T09:59:00.000-07:00

To answer Brady and Jared's questions in the comments below, Bryan and I did not go to a mexican resort, although we did spend a day in Mazatlan at the beach, where we were in the water for approximately 5 minutes before I got stung by a jelly fish. Then we spent the next few days on road trip through the mountains and deserts to as we drove Northeast from the Southern Pacific coast of the country up to a few hours below the Texas Border in Chiahaua, where we stayed with the family of our dearly departed roommate, may he rest in peace, then we headed home.

We met a lot of great people, have some great memories, have a few infections in our bodies, killed and ate livestock and generally had a great time. and my spanish is ridiculously good right now.

Mexico Day 1

2006-06-06T18:52:00.001-07:00

Despite elbrecht's statments to the contrary... I am, in fact, alive, however, I am not well. Just call me a magnet for tropical diseases. Life is not fun right now, as far as both ends are concerned, if you get what I mean.

Our story begins in a remote area of central mexico. Bryan and I hunger. We cant exactly go to the local tienda for food, as we are hours from the nearest civilization. Cans of Modelo in hand...Its time. To hunt.

The problem arose, when while hiking through the country, we encountered a rock formation that would have made Elbrecht soil himself. While many would have turned back, we pressed on, despite some "enclosed" spaces.

We stumble upon a group of curious Vaqueros.

As we come across a herd of wild goats that congregated near an old dilapidated ranchero, they break out the ropes and assist in our quest for food.

But in the end, the ropes fall short, and I must charge in and Krav Maga the goat into submission. (this is a pic of me preparing to charge).

Riding in the back of a pick-up for a couple of hours, with just a case of Modelo and the above goat, the goat and I become friends. I name him Thumper.

A beautiful friendship is thwarted when Bryan hangs Thumper upside down and guts him like a fish.

We removed the intestines (be very glad i dont have a pic of this), removed the fecal matter, and fried them in a skillet over an open fire, in true Vaquero style.

To be continued....

My Ode To Cody

2006-06-06T08:07:00.000-07:00

This is an article written for all of those codys out there.

I give up; my shit stinks and I can't keep it together

2006-06-02T18:56:00.000-07:00

I've been meaning to post; however, I have been really busy. I was in Santa Rosa last weekend and had a job interview. I didn't get the job, which I am fine about (not really my kind of place). But I wanted a job because I find security in work... and in money... and in my white blanket. The voice of fear has had a lot to say in the past couple weeks. But the Lord has continued to give me peace. I thought it would be good to post the voice of fear. Often when we speak our fears they tend to diminish.

The Voice Of Fear
Fear goes something like this. We move back to Santa Rosa and can't find jobs. So we live with my parents. About a year later I am diagnosed with massive hemorrhoids and IBS. I don't have insurance to help me get these problems taken care of. My parents at this point are always threatening to kick our worthless hindends on the street. Jenna is diagnosed with a fatal disease and only has two years to live. I get a job a McDonald's and have a terrible deep friar incident that prohibits any future work or activity with a woman (did I mention I was terribly overweight and bald). Jenna suffers and dies. I have a Monk (the T.V. show) esque breakdown due to Jenna's passing. My unpredictable behavior makes me unsafe for society and I head to the streets. At this point I have totally lost faith in God and live the remaining days of my life being picked on by other bums and pass away, after an excruciating death, on the side of a freeway. Worthless, Faithless and without the slightest hope for eternity.

Of course their is still the lies of the Health and Wealth Gospel that I listen to. Let me share that thought pattern is as well.

The Voice of Health and Wealth

Wealth says something like this. You are being faithful to the Lord. Just go claim your territory. When Jenna and I get to Santa Rosa I start working for a small medical firm. The firm doesn't have enough money to pay me; so I work for stock. Jenna teaches to pay the bills. Two years later the company discovers the cure for both Aids and Cancer in the same day. I become a Gazillionaire. Jenna and I spend our days solving the worlds problems (this makes the Lord very happy) and living a life of luxury (this makes Jared very happy). Time magazine names me the greatest person of all time and God announces me greatest saint of the 21st century. Instead of dieing at the end of my illustrious life. The Lord decides to have a chariot of fire come and pick me up. My children are gracious governors of the world until the Lord returns.

Reality Says

In reality either of those two situations could happen. That's whats fun about reality, anything can happen. That said, I probably have a greater chance of winning Super Lotto thrice in a row.

God has brought me through times of great uncertainty before and He will do it again. This is just another opportunity for me to grow in faith. Faith, the idea, is always talked about in church. I'm happy (in my small way) to be able to practice what is preached. If the Lord clothes the lily's of the field and watches over the birds of the air how much more will he remember me. I feel that God is calling me to greater faith. That's what I pray for and that is what He appears to be giving me. Occasionally I freak out, but for the most part the Lord has given me peace about the upcoming changes that Jenna and I will face.

Don't worry about me that's how I keep my shit together

2006-06-02T13:38:00.000-07:00

Good line form a song I’m hooked on.

Now that I have your attention I want to raise a complaint against those in this blog (Garrett who will be marrying a baaaaaabe in a couple weeks is excused) who have not posted all week. So I will be taking off for the weekend and hitting up the boot heel of Missouri. When I return I expect some posting. Don't be relying upon Drew since he is already dead (even if he makes it back from Mexico his soul died the moment he decided to marry Jodie).

I want posts and plenty of them. I want to read things about Cody's giant balls. I want to hear about Jared's finally preparations in giving southern California the finger. I want to see pictures of the last 5 high school girls that Brady has slept with. I want to see pictures of Bishop's last vestiges of male happiness being snuffed out by a trip to Bed Bath and Beyond. I want to see Tyler's beautiful figure. I want to hear which personal body lubricant Paul is using on his harem.

I want it all and I want it now.

Until next week see you later.

The News As I See It

2006-05-31T06:54:00.000-07:00

Let's see here.

So John McCain gives a commencement speech at the New School in New York on May 19th. The main thrust of his speech was that when he was younger he though he was always right and now that he is older and has served his country for 50 years he has come to appreciate the many different viewpoints and freedom for active debate. He also makes a good point about not only claiming your rights but also living up to your responsibility as a citizen.

In response to this presentation "Dozens of faculty and students turned their back on the Senator, others booed and heckled, and a senior invited to speak threw out her prepared remarks and mocked their invited guest as he sat nearby. Some 1,200 had signed petitions asking that Mr. McCain be disinvited."

At least it sounds like they really understood and appreciate the idea of being open for a friendly debate... And by friendly I mean if they don't get their way they stomp, scream and go home. Thanks for the free discussion.

In Biola news Clyde Cook is stepping down at the end of next year and according to ABC Biola is "Abstinence University." My favorite part of the video was Danny Pascal saying "in my experience whenever someone leaves this school (a.k.a. kicked out) it has been a mutual understanding that they would prefer to go some where else." Of course I am instantly trying to figure out why Drew and Danny came to the understanding that Drew would rather spend a semester in Ohio. After watching this video all I could think was we need to raise a fund to send Paul Smith down to Biola to talk to the two girls interviewed.

a mockery

2006-05-30T13:53:00.000-07:00

That rat bastard stole my idea. I guess its time for me to choose another life goal.

my last post.... ever?

2006-05-28T00:31:00.000-07:00

bon voyage... for now.

elbrecht is placing bets on me not making it home. little does he know, i speak the mother tongue, and have no problem jumping fences, if need be.

see ya'll in a week or so.

The Most pointless event in the history of Man

2006-05-27T20:19:00.000-07:00

It is a tradition that we have all experience (well except you bish, but soon you will) and we all enjoyed it I am sure. We enjoyed it because it meant no more papers, no more class, n0 more RAs, no more cafe food, no more contracts, no more expultions (Drew), no more chapels with the same sermon everytime, no more judgement being passed everytime you walk through campus. Of course I am talking about college graduation (at Biola).

I came to realize today that the graduation ceremony itself, is the most pointless event we will ever go through. It is also the most pointless event for your family members to have to witness. You work your balls off for four (plus) years (well, I didnt and I dont think brady had to either, but hey we got degrees) and then you get to get up at the butt crack of dawn to go sit in a chair with a bunch of people you tried avoiding your whole time there (except for your friends, of course) and then you have sit and listen to some random labia sore give some speech, which was typed and they read it word for word in the same tone, trying to be funny and profound and of course you will never remember what they talked about five minutes after you leave. Then you have to wait in a line to walk across a stage as your name is announced and you get your .24 seconds of recognition and then you go sit back down. If one of your family members has to run to the bathroom real quick because they get a sudden case of the shits, they will not hear your name called. Then you get your diploma holder, that has a paper in it that says, congrats! you now get to pay off your $220K in loans and then we will send you your diploma. then you go back to your seat and wait for the rest of the names to be called. AFter this is complete you pray that it comes to an end, but no you have to now sit through faculty recognitions. 3 hours later, you begin your walk out of metzger lawn and then begin your search for your family which is harder than a priest at an all boys school. As you walk through the sea of people you run into your many "friends" who you new in freshman seminar and they start crying about how they are going to miss this place (even though they begin the Talbot program the following semester). AFter you go through a couple hundred awkward conversations you find your family and head to lunch at the local IHOP, but of course the same 674 people you just graduated with had teh same idea.

My hand are getting tired of typing so I will wrap it up. Eventhough I am extremely proud of my fiance I was over the 8 hour ceremony that allowed me to see her for two seconds walk across the stage (I counted, they read a name every two seconds) and she was too.

I get married in 20 days.

Love you guys

You Know You Love It

2006-05-27T11:40:00.000-07:00

Try this site out. You will be happy to know that Andrew, Tyler and Brady have exploded in the past couple of years.

The World Cup in a Nutshell

2006-05-26T10:02:00.000-07:00

Well the time has come once again for me to hang up my tattered #20 NASCAR hat and put the El Monte Chimichanga’s down. It’s time to turn our attention away from E3 and fantasy baseball (of which Drew is falling behind due to not having 8 paid hours a day to work on it). My friends it is time for us to set our Anchor Steam down, Drew you need not set down your watery Michelob Ultra (but you must stop looking at their billboards) and raise a Stein of Budweiser (official sponsor) and toast the coming of the WORLD CUP 2006.

This June 9th to July 9th event is the sports shaped hole you’ve been trying to fill with basketball, football and even the (*shutter*) Olympics. Ahhh, but what we come to relearn every 1,461 days is that there is nothing that can fill this hole, save one, soccer. Olé! There is only one event that allows the great satin (You and I) to go up against Iran and beat them 2-0 without George Bush making a few poorly worded speeches. Only one sporting even has caused countries to call peace to wars. There is only one sporting event that gives you a great excuse to stay up all night drinking and yelling Scheiße at the TV, SOCCER. Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé!

So here are some previews of what to expect. As official beer sponsor, Budweiser had the exclusive right to sell beer at the world cup. IN GERMANY! Months of newspaper editorials and talk shows bashing the world’s largest beer maker has caused Anheuser a lot of bad press. In addition Anheuser can’t simple go by the name Budweiser because as we all know the real Budweiser is a Czech beer brewed just a few hundred kilometers to the east of the World Cup. It was also ruled by the German courts that Bud was too close a name to a popular German beer named bit. Anheuser in response decided that it would be better to allow other beers to be served at the World Cup as opposed to being hated by the whole world (it didn’t work for George and it don’t work for beer).

Watch the Brazilian Team games. There are three reasons for this. First, Brazil will win the World Cup. Secondly, Ronaldo will be playing. He is so good that somehow he can take the ball hide it in his jock strap and walk right into the goal without violating a single FIFA rule. Reason #3 is Brazilian women love their Brazilian soccer. Believe me you want to spend time watching that which Brazilian women love.

The US team, according to past history, will undoubtedly loose to Germany in yet another close game but the good thing is that when we meet Germany it will be in the semi-finals. Way to go semi-finals, we rock. We are in Group E with Ghana, Italy and Czech. Italy and Czech will be difficult teams but having seen Ghana play in the Africa’s Cup of Nations I don’t think they will be all that difficult to trounce. We will have to finish in the top two in order to make it to stage 2. If we finish second then it’s likely that we will play Brazil who will finish top in their group. That’s good because then you will be forced to watch that which Brazilian women love. That’s bad because we will be eliminated from the World Cup in less than 9 seconds.

It’s going to be fun to watch the classics McBride, Pope and Reyna but this cup I see Landon Donovan and Eddie Johnson stepping up and making some sweet plays. Once again I expect to finish out this World Cup experience wishing that somehow the US Soccer organization would hire someone to replace Bruce Arena who hasn’t done anything different, since, well… EVER! Any improvement in the US soccer program has to be attributed to the silent army of middle aged maternal SUV drivers seeking fulfillment through their child’s soccer performance (God bless that insecurity).

It is unfortunate that the likely hood of the US meeting Iran on the soccer field to settle their nuclear differences is slim to none. However, just for the record, I wouldn’t mind staking the fate of the Middle East on a good 11 v 11 man match.

Keep an eye open for Mr. Stan Dennison who will be cruising Germany during the month of the World Cup (understand the last sentence was typed while breaking the tenth commandment). If SportsCenter starts out with “A flexing, toned, American introduces his tan to the World” then buckle up because odds are you know that toned American.

Also know that trying to predict the flavor of this year’s World Cup is a huge wild card. I’ve said it before and I will say it again. Japan and German have the weirdest cultures on the planet. Given the beer prowess of the German peoples expect extreme weirdness to be mixed with intoxicated beer bellied men in leather pants. Add one Stan and you’ve got yourself a World Cup for the history books.

Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé!

Thank you science

2006-05-26T07:59:00.000-07:00

LONDON (Reuters) - Moderate drinking reduces the risk of heart disease but the beneficial effects of alcohol seem to work differently in men and women, Danish researchers said on Friday.

Out with the old in with the New

2006-05-26T06:33:00.000-07:00

well I did it. I got rid of the Sat-piece. I found the lucky guy that gets to take over the damp (due to the leaky door) driver seat of the beautiful 1995 saturn SC1 with 157,021 miles on her. This guy was willing to pay 2G cash and I was not going to stop him.

I took that 2g cash and stuffed it in my pocket and ran to Toyota of Orange (well, I didnt run, but jill drove me there fast). I went to talk to the head honcho there and I pulled out my 2G and flashed it in his face and said, what can I do with this? He replied with, "hey steve, come in here! Take this guy and find him a truck and give it to him for 100 over." (that means $100 over the invoice price, which is the same price the employees pay. So Jill and I wandered around the lot looking at the different vehicular units and we/I found one we/I liked. and went into to take care of all the paper work. I then drove off the lot with a 2006 truck that had 8 miles on it and this is what she looks like(this is not my truck, but it is the same thing, I still havent taken a picture of the actual one I drive)...

In other news. Read these wonderful/bridge burning quotes of mine in the latest issue of the Chimes....
to give you a little background first...
In the meantime, Biola alumni Garrett Anderson was selected from a small group of applicants for the interim spot, though everyone involved was made aware that a separate search would be conducted later. ...
“I appreciate the opportunity to have worked in this position,” Anderson said. “However, I also got treated like I was 12 years old and never got the respect that I feel I deserved. I made great relationships with a couple of the coaches, and for that I am really thankful. The people above me were the ones who never looked into what goes on in the SID department, and they never showed care or appreciation for it. At the end of my time there I feel Biola was completely unprofessional in the way they handled things.”...
“I saw how much Josh actually did behind the scenes, which people above us never looked into. He not only knows the most about the department, but he has the most passion for it and the school’s athletics. He has made great relationships with the conference SIDs, which I found to be really important. If anyone deserved this position it is Josh.”

I have not heard anything back yet from anyone so I guess one of two things happened...1) they are so pissed they dont want anything to do with me or 2) they could give a rat's ass about me.

On a lighter note...

2006-05-25T15:30:00.000-07:00

Phoenix 121, Dallas 118
Nash, Suns Steal Game 1 from Mavericks
Box Score

Mavericks Home

Suns Home
DALLAS, May 24 (Ticker) -- The Dallas Mavericks must be wondering how long they have to pay for allowing Steve Nash to leave for the Phoenix Suns. Nash piloted a late comeback capped by Boris Diaw's basket with 0.5 seconds left that gave the Suns a thrilling 121-118 victory over the Mavericks in Game 1 of the Western Conference finals.
NBA TV highlights from Suns-Mavs: PlayPress Conference: Play Diaw scored a career-high 34 points and Nash added 27 and 16 assists for the second-seeded Suns, who looked tired at times but relied on their resiliency and won a road game for the third straight series. "We feel like we've overcome a lot of adversity this year to be where we are and we want to see how good we can get," Nash said. "Every time we hear something about us, it's yeah, we are underrated," Diaw said. "We'll take the games one by one and see what's going to happen." It was a disappointing and virtually inexcusable loss by the fourth-seeded Mavericks, who led by nine points with less than four minutes to play against the defenseless Suns but could not close it out. "We didn't execute down the stretch," Mavericks guard Jason Terry said. "We had a nine-point lead with three-something left. A couple of turnovers, a couple of blown defensive assignments, execution on both ends of the floor, all correctable errors. It's disappointing we let one slip away. The series opener was a continuation of the nail-biters that have pervaded the postseason. It was Phoenix's fifth game decided by less than three points or in overtime. Dallas has played six such games. "Another normal night in the NBA," Suns coach Mike D'Antoni said. Nash played five seasons in Dallas and was a fan favorite before leaving for Phoenix as a free agent in the summer of 2004. He has won a pair of MVP awards in two seasons with the Suns and victimized the Mavericks in last year's conference semifinals. A driving three-point play by Devin Harris, who scored a career-high 30 points on 12-of-17 shooting, gave the Mavericks a 114-105 lead with 3:43 to go. But Dallas stumbled, and the NBA MVP pounced. Nash scored Phoenix's next 10 points, making two free throws and a 3-pointer before going underneath good buddy Dirk Nowitzki for a difficult layup and over him for a 3-pointer that cut the deficit to 116-115 with 1:04 remaining. "For much of the game, my teammates were playing great and making shots," Nash said. "I was trying to facilitate their games. The later it got in the game, I didn't want to pass up shots, especially with our having fallen behind." On Phoenix's next possession, Nash ran a pick-and-roll with Shawn Marion, who dunked for the lead with 43 seconds left. The teams traded empty possessions before Harris made a 17-footer from the right wing, giving the Mavericks a 118-117 lead with 4.8 seconds to play. After a timeout, Tim Thomas inbounded to Diaw, who had missed badly on the previous possession. He got deep position on Jerry Stackhouse and made a turnaround 10-footer from the right baseline, silencing the sellout crowd at the American Airlines Center. "That wasn't a play for me," Diaw said. "From the start of the play, I was more of the second option. We ran a play we've run two or three times during the year for Steve. Dallas saw the play and I think they knew what we were going to do. I had the ball, so I had to take the shot." In the final second, Marquis Daniels threw away the inbounds pass and Thomas sealed it with two free throws. Dallas had four turnovers in the final 77 seconds. "The last couple of minutes, everything that could go wrong, did go wrong," Nowitzki said. "We couldn't get a stop. Nash made a couple of big shots. Diaw makes the tough turnaround and on the offensive end, our execution was horrible. We didn't even get a shot off until all the way at the end when Devin made the shot to get up a point, but it just wasn't what we were looking for. It's a disappointing loss and a tough way to start a series at home. Marion sprained his left ankle in the fourth quarter but had 24 points and 13 rebounds and Thomas scored 17 points for the Suns, who shot 55 percent (47-of-85) from the field. Nowitzki had 25 points and 19 rebounds and Stackhouse scored 16 points for the Mavericks, who shot 51 percent (47-of-93) and held a 48-38 advantage on the glass. "Tonight we weren't very good," Mavericks coach Avery Johnson said. "Even though we had the lead, we couldn't execute. We were just bad tonight in a lot of different areas that we have to improve on in a hurry. Defensively, Nash - too easy. Diaw - too easy. I know they're really good players, but we've just got to play better defense." Both teams lost key players to injuries. Mavericks forward Josh Howardsuffered a sprained right ankle midway through the first quarter and did not return. Suns guard Raja Bell suffered a left calf strain midway through the final period and was carried off the court. "I thought someone threw something from the stands," Bell said. "But then it started to burn and right now it's pretty sore." Perhaps now the Mavericks know how the San Antonio Spurs felt. After using their advantage in speed to dethrone the champions, Dallas had a hard time keeping up with Phoenix, the fastest team in the league. As expected, the Suns came out sprinting, running their fast break even after a make by the Mavs and taking a 62-58 lead. Nash was the trigger in the first quarter with five assists, then had a handful of nifty layups in the second period, when he scored 12 points. "It took us a little bit at the begining to adjust from the pace of the last series to this series," Nowitzki said. "They had a couple of leakouts early and just had layups on us, but I think that when that first quarter was out of the way, I think we were fine." Harris, who disappeared at the end of the conference semifinals, re-emerged in the third quarter and gave the Mavericks the energy boost they needed. He scored 13 points, including several driving layups through Phoenix's porous defense. "He was great," Nash said. "For stretches he kept them in it. He was terrific from the perimeter and he got to the basket. He had a great game." A three-point play by Daniels capped a 13-0 spurt that gave Dallas a 100-91 lead early in the fourth quarter.

2006-05-25T11:37:00.000-07:00

"When I give food to the poor, they call me a saint. When I ask why the poor have no food, they call me a communist."
Dom Helder Camara

Snow Patrol

2006-05-25T09:48:00.000-07:00

A good but not life changing (yet) band Snow Patrol released their album Eyes Open. On this particular album there is a song titled Chasing Cars of which can be streamed on their Myspace page (thank you for that insight Drew) is pretty amazing. So good, the song is, that I recorded it off their Myspace page. After looping it 100 times throughout the day I decided that the file wasn't near clear enough so I purchased the MP3 from a reputable online MP3 vendor. After a full day of listening to the new MP3 I came to realize that the song Chasing Cars is one that must be heard in High Fidelity and so yesterday I purchased the CD Eyes Open.

That is just to say this is a pretty good album but the reason I am posting (besides to make you feel guilty for ever day since May 9th that you haven't acquired the song Chasing Cars) is to repeat a lyric from a verse of the track Hands Open:

Put Sufjan Stevens on
and we'll play your favorite song
"Chicago" bursts to life and your
sweet smile remembers you

Snow Patrol gets it.

Not Dead

2006-05-24T18:35:00.000-07:00

Elbrecht, how will you update your website if you die? Don't worry, I have thought of a solution. You can call me every week. If I don't get a call I will post the below picture on your website.

not dead yet

2006-05-24T08:24:00.000-07:00

how, you may ask, will i be able to keep up with nate at he travels towards oblivion. well its going to be easy. when you're sitting at the computer wondering "is elbrecht dead?" you will have the answer right at your fingertips.

damn that is a sweet earth you might say.

NorCal

2006-05-22T21:07:00.001-07:00

Well I gave my notice at work today. Jenna and I are officially moving to Northern California at the end of June. We are both excited about the move and feel its the right time to leave Southern California.

I have been streesed out lately. It was hard telling work that I was leaving. I like my job and I really care for the people I work with. Plus the fact that we are leaving stable jobs to move in with my parents. On top of that we have had a bunch of other things going on.

But, what ever is to come, one thing is for sure. We are entering into the F'ing Unknown, a place beyond our control. You guys can pray for us as we look for jobs and figure out the logistics of moving. Unlike moving when you are single, the married move requires quite a bit more preperation because you acquire more stuff in two years of marriage then in your whole single life. We are excited and it will be fun to be around friends and family. Now you can visit Dru, Paul and I in one trip.

After many moons of silence....

2006-05-22T12:27:00.000-07:00

Justin speaks! below is one of the funniest emails i have received, ever:

Drew P. Windstalker:

i also just signed up on myspace and it is pretty cool. people were really friendly. i got three friend invites in like the first day! so i was like cool! people like me.!

but drew!!!! it was all a sham! one of the people was the guy who made this myspace thing and the other two are girls who keep blogging me to cum to their websites! i feel so naive! so betrayed!

what i am saying is i need some real internet friends to make me feel good in all the ways it is healthy for a computer and man to feel together goodly. err.. whatever. i am not too articulate this late at night.

well the good news is i am going to buy a pair of powerisers in one month (if you dont know what they are google them right now in a separate page). and i hope to see you somehow this summer.

well write me back tomorrow heY? oh yeah aint ur birthday soon? or did it just happen? are you really 26 now? was that you i made the "if we are still both single when we're 27 we will marry each other" deal with? cause if it was, pretty soon we are gonna have to talk about whether or not we wait till i am 27 or we go ahead and tie the know when u get there. and then we got to talk about who gets the sex change. i vote you. well, i am going to try to marry this girl from texas so hopefully it won't come down to that. oh wait, ummm... well i hope this doesn't make you mad.... but i am going to see if she will take me up on that 27 year old deal. no hard feelings. i hope that this letter somehow accurately conveys my affections for you my good friend andrew. Say hi to all the blog-dogs for me, they're good people.

Justin j-star

2006-05-22T10:05:00.000-07:00

Next week Drew will be leaving for a trip to our neighbors to the South. Since this is a trip that is planned solely by Brian Weakley there is a high probability that Drew will meet his maker just after his rental car creaks down in the mountains of Mexico. Brian of course will be able to fight his way back to the USA using a helicopter technique with his unusually large wang. As sole executor of Drew Martin's estate I have decided to divvy up his worldly possessions as follows:

Jared: Drew would like you to have his copy of Mike Tyson's Punch out. He believes that given your recent E3 post no one is more deserving nor would appreciate it more than you.

Cody: Drew has recorded 14 hours of giggling so that on lonely nights when you miss him you will be able to put in a CD grab a pillow and tickle away.

Garrett: Drew leaves you all his used socks and a pile of envy that you are freaking getting married in a month to a baaaaabe.

Nate B: Drew bequeaths you the basketball that rolled around in the back of Clifford for a good 3 years.

Tyler: Drew leaves you a sense of adventure (i.e. Grab two beers and meet me in the F'ing unknown) as well as the photo album he amassed by taking telephoto shots of you. May you come to love your body as much as Drew loves your body.

Paulass: Drew passes down to you his ability to be completely wasted and yet somehow mumble "yust wuuuhhhh..... Wuhhhhh.... one more"

Now there are a few things to also divvy up.

A) I think it is only fair that whoever gets Jodie also should get the rock that Drew has been carrying for a year and hasn't dropped. It makes sense that Paul should receive this honor but I am willing to entertain bids and other offers.

B) Since there will be one less Cal Superfan in the world Drew has requested that in his death a USC or Stanford Superfan be sacrificed. I would be more than happy to carry out this action if someone would direct me to the appropriate Superfan.

C) Someone will have to take on the roll of falling ass backwards into concert tickets, high paying jobs and peace protests.

D) There will need to be a historian appointed to retell the stories of the Emerson years (adding 2 to 3 new alterations a year).

E) Finally there will need to be someone to explain to Drew's mother that Drew has simple decided to become a Trapist monk (the non-beer brewing kind) and due to his vow of silence he will never be able to talk to her again.

Optical Inch

2006-05-22T02:01:00.000-07:00

Please watch this.

there is a music video. and it is oh so worth it.

Well, Crap!

2006-05-21T16:03:00.000-07:00

This guy's going home. I, for one, am dissappointed. And there, Drew, you can look at this instead of the Atari.

Everything is Illuminated

2006-05-20T22:57:00.000-07:00

Go rent it. its good.

(this post was fairly unneccessary but i was really getting sick and tired of reading about the atari convention everytime i clicked on the blog.)

Its A Wrap

2006-05-18T14:32:00.000-07:00

Well E3 has now come and gone. I decided to do a quick update of the major announcements of the show.

Sony - It was definitely the most boring E3 presentation of the bunch. The funniest moments were when the presenters would pause for audience applause, only to be greeted by the sound of chirping crickets and pure silence. Thats what happens when you take a PS2 videogame put it in HD and expect people to care. But at lease Sony had the guts to come out and state both the price of PS3 and the release date. I say the guts because the system is launching with a release price of $599. Watching the show I started to get the impression that Sony was much more concerned with pushing Blu-Ray then they were about the next generation of videogames.

Conference in a nutshell - We are Sony, you will buy our expense system even if we don't have any exciting games. PS3 will help Blu-Ray conquer HDDVD and put Sony back in the running for global domination.

High Point - Metal gear solid trailer.
Low Point - Just about everything else. With a extra special low point for the revelation of the new ps3 controller, which is basically a dual shock two with tilt function. Way to steal technology for GameBoy Color Pokemon cartriges.
Pure Ugly - Sonys contempt for all of us.

Nintendo - Watching Nintendo is like watching a politician, it sounds good but when you walk away you realize they didn't say anything. Nintendo announced that a speaker is included in the Wii controller. A SPEAKER WAS THE BIG SECRET, worse secret ever. In other, who gives a frogs fat ass, news nintendo announced that the Wii will have a standby mode. They seriously talked about the standby mode for 10 minutes. WHO CARES.

Conference in a nutshell - We still aren't saying anything, here are a couple of games that you all knew where coming out. We will also tell you about two stupid innovations (standby and controller speaker).

High Point - Announcement of Super Mario Galaxy.
Low Point - Not giving a launch date or a system price and on top of that not saying anything about the Virtual Console (shame on you Nintendo).
Pure Ugly - The amount of time spent, on the above mentioned, standby mode.

Microsoft - This year they came out swinging. They showed Gears of War and Halo 3. Microsoft gave the X-box enthusiast everything they wanted. In fact Bill Gates even showed up at the presentation. Good show Microsoft. Much better then last year.

Conference in a nutshell - Here are all the games that you want.

High Point - Halo 3
Low Point - Bill Gates boring monologue on cell phone gaming potential, yawn.
Pure Ugly - Fake GTA3 tattoo on old company executive shown off during presentation.

My Space

2006-05-18T10:26:00.000-07:00

This is a beauty that was found on My Space by a guy at my work... check this out.

Brad,
It would be difficult for me to be any more miserable right now, I feel like the worst person ever. First, let me start by saying that I am truly truly sorry, and I hate myself for hurting you. Of all the people in the whole entire world, you were honestly the last person that I would ever want to wrong in any way. There is no excuse at all or anything that happened, so I won't even try other than to say all of us had WAY too much to drink, and I did a stupid thing. I can handle you being pissed at me, I absolutely deserve it, I can even handle the ugly words that were exchanged between us, what I can't handle is thinking that you see me as a different person.It is weird, I feel like I just went through a horrible break up or something. The world looked funny yesterday, I couldn't crack a smile if you paid me, there are songs I can't listen to, and I just feel beyond crushed. I don't know if you meant everything you said to me, and I am hoping that you didn't. I know that I was wrong on many levels, but I am also hoping that this is something that we can deal with. I know it sounds totally crazy and stupid, but you have come to play such a significant role in my life, I can't imagine my days without you.It is totally strange and weird to say that, and you could say that my behavior didn't reflect that, and you would be correct. I hate feeling like you hate me, and I hate feeling like all of your friends think I am a terrible person, because I am not. I know there is nothing I can Say or do to take back what happened, but I just want you to know that fighting with you was just about the worst thing I could have ever imagined. It was right up there with one of the ugliest nights of my life, and I would give anything in the world to rewind and fix it. I am not sure if you will respond to this, part of me thinks that you won't. If not today, then maybe some other time.Also, thanks for getting my stuff together, although I think my sunglasses are still at your house, if you could keep your eyes peeled for them that would be great. I can't even focus or work today, I can't eat, I seriously feel like it was an ugly break up, and I am hoping against hopes that it was not that and you are not done with me. Please don't cut me off, I really don't think I can handle that.
I am so sorry.
Elizabeth
------------------------------------
RESPONSE:Dear Elizabeth,Thank you for your concern. I'll be sure to file it away under "L" for "Long-winded diatribes from drunken whores I couldn't care less about".You did a stupid thing huh? No...doing long division and forgetting to carry the one is "a stupid thing"; Mixing in a red sock with a load of whites is "a stupid thing"; Blowing some guy in a bathroom for 45minutes while I sit at the bar wondering if you're taking so long because you ate too much bran that morning isn't as much a "Stupid thing" as it is grounds for permanent removal from my social calendar.To be honest, I'm not sure if it was more amusing that you went and degraded yourself in a public toilet not once but twice in a 2 hour span, or that you seemed to think that by saying "Well, I didn't F**k him" somehow gave you a clean slate. So forgive me if I couldn't care less if the world "looked funny" to you yesterday. Since your world revolves around blow dryers, golden retrievers, Prada Bags and Jelly Beans, I'm sure it must have been most unsettling to actually have to consider someone else's feelings for 24 hours straight. The good news for you is that my friends don't think you're a terrible person, they just think you're the average run of the mill cum-guzzling blonde who commands about as much respect as your average child porn collector.I could be wrong but, it's pretty hard to respect some B&T chick who comes out to spend the night at my place even though she's seeing someone else in New jersey and winds up tongue-bathing the taint of anyone who decides 30 minutes of droning commentary on Colin Farrell's new haircut is worth putting up with for a hand job in the men's room. The good thing about being a guy is that when I eventually bump into the young lad who finger-blasted you on top of a towel dispenser last saturday, we'll have a shot and laugh our heads off about the time it happened.By the way, for the amount of time you claim to spend in spin class you really must be doing something wrong to sport the thunder thighs you do. Watching you parade around my bedroom in a thong was a little like watching sea lions mate. Thought you might like to know.
PS. I forwarded about 100 people on this email.
Talk to you never,
Brad

A Little Help

2006-05-16T19:18:00.000-07:00

Deb and I have been bored at the office recently, so we decided to make an 80's mix. We have narrowed down the selection to the following songs:

Don't Dream It's Over - Crowded House
Crazy for You - Madonna
Every Day I write the Book - Elvis Costello
Take Me Home Tonight - Eddie Money
Video Killed the Radio Star - Buggles
Time After Time - Cyndi Lauper
Drive - The Cars
In Your Eyes - Peter Gabriel (If nothing else, just because of the movie "Say Anything")
Take on Me - A-Ha
The Promise - When In Rome (Yes, I know its on the Napoleon Dynamite CD)
We Belong to the Night - Pat Benatar (Queen of 80's Rock)
Mad About You - Belinda Carlise
Pictures of You - The Cure (Gothic Rock before it sucked)
Don't You Forget About Me - Simple Minds
Bad - U2
King of Pain - The Police
How Soon is Now - The Smiths
Come Undone - Duran Duran

You notice the genre; I'm trying to stay away from "rockers". For instance the Scorpians would be to much rock for this album (or any album for that matter, I'm surprised that rock that hard will let itself be confined to a piece of plastic). Also I am staying away from 80's songs that I'm sick of (yes, I'm looking at you "Total Eclipse of the Heart"). Finally, I'm trying to stay away from songs that have recently been remade by todays "artists". Sorry Berlin, that rules out "Take My Breath Away".

So please give me some suggestions. I'm sure I'm missing some great songs.

A first

2006-05-15T13:49:00.000-07:00

So due to some ill timing on my part the chief of urology at duke university medical center happened to see this picture.

Thats a first for me.

Tickle you say

2006-05-15T08:30:00.000-07:00

So Drew's life was spared for two reasons. First, my brother sent me an advanced copy of Sufjan's new album slated to release in June called The Avalanche.

Secondly because while I was searching for the origin to the term jackleg to see if it was indeed a racial slur. Notice the second result. Needless to say I ordered all their albums.

2006-05-12T23:45:00.000-07:00

1) The posting tonight was really superb. Especially you Jared. You....you keep doing your thing man. Which is why I'm sad to bring it down a couple of notches with.....

2) Tonight the Bishop family is mourning the loss of its matron, my Grandmother. Tough on us all, but mainly on dad and grandpa. If you guys would be praying for them that would be cool. I'll talk to you all on the lates.

The Worst Baseball Player EVER!

2006-05-12T23:04:00.000-07:00

Adrian Beltre is the worst professional baseball player in the MLB. I am so bitter at this douche bag who is the sole reason the M's suck so bad. He is terrible. Sure the pitchers cant throw strikes to save their lives, but it is because Beltre is playing with head up his ass they are scared that if they throw a strike and the ball is hit into play it might go to Beltre and he will boot it or do something stupid. I tried to watch this clusterf#$ of a player tonight and he is awful. I cant handle it. He only made one error but he made at least 4 bone headed plays. three of which costs them runs. I really dont give a rats ass that he went yard in the 8th inning when the game was out of hand. He was the reason it was out of hand. The only good thing I can say about him is that he is 4th in the AL in stolen bases (9). That is it! and I mean it!

I love the mariners! I was looking around the diamond during the game and they do have some really good players. They need to figure it out!

Bobby Livingston is the worst pitcher in the big leagues. I will pay for his ticket back to Tacoma or maybe peoria. He came into the week with a 27.00 era and entering tonights game with a 7.20. Then he went ahead and gave up a 6-spot before getting two outs! (ps. as I am writing this about him, sportcenter is talking about him as well and showing how terrible he is, plus he lost a cow milking contest before the game)

I cant handle this. I am over it.

Go M's!

p.s. I have been thinking about writing a book.

Gaming

2006-05-12T21:48:00.000-07:00

Sudoku (su-doe-ku) - The Japanese art of wasting time.

Anna brought her Sudoku book over to the house yesterday. I starting filling her book out and today I went to Target today to buy my own. If you are a geek you really need to start playing Sudoku. This is perfect for car rides and graduation ceremonies. They are kinda like crossword puzzles for people who don't have good spelling and trivia skills.
The premise is to fill each nine square grid with the numbers 1-9. The problem is that every row (both across and vertically) must have the numbers 1-9. Well, Its not a videogame but it is fun. Yes, I am an accountant. Yes, I know its kinda old lady like. Yes, I know Dru will probably become a closet Sudoku player. Till next time. Peace I'm outta here

Burned

2006-05-12T16:14:00.000-07:00

To all those who have found themselves a past victim of a Nate Elbrecht April Fools...

payback has begun.

some lines may have been flirted with, but in the opinion of this author, were not crossed.

should i mysteriously dissapear... look for the wild eyed man headed for south america via motorcycle with a drew-sized bag across the seat in front of him.

In closing, Happy Weekend:

Take moment to mourn

2006-05-12T12:54:00.000-07:00

We've all had fun with him and the past. Who doesn't remember the time Drew, in his drunken state, went running off into the F'ing Unknown only to return a few hours later passing out on a pile of shoes? Who doesn't get a little grin when they think about his girlish squeal when Cody tickles him? Who hasn't divided by 13,000 whenever Drew tries to quote a stat?

Well I must tell you these times are over. Say good by to your precious little Drew. As of 2:37 Central Time, Drew officially signed his own death warrant.

Thank you for the memories Drew. You might be missed.

The Results Are In...

2006-05-12T10:43:00.000-07:00

Results of Boycott On May 1st, as a result of the Mexican boycott, National Retailers reported 4.2% lower sales for the day; however, there was a 67.8% reduction in shoplifting.Retailers are hoping for more boycotts.

St Thomas Island

2006-05-10T11:53:00.000-07:00

So the first thing I would recommend if you ever go to St Thomas Island is try and get someone to pay for you to stay in a condo at the Ritz Carlton for a week. On day 1 when our concierge poured us Guava punch with Cruzen Rum I knew I was home. A little snorkeling, a little sailing, a little deep sea fishing and it turns out I really could get used to this place they call paradise. The snorkeling was awesome. I had never done it before and I know now that can really appreciate an afternoon of stalking manta rays and sea turtles.

Just to confirm it was paradise I walked down by the beach on Tuesday that there were people filming a Corona commercial right there. And speaking of Corona all the alcohol was Duty free. So while it was impossible to go eat for under $25 a plate you could purchase a liter of 12 year Glenlivet for $15. And if you wanted to stay on the cheap side for $16 you got two bottles of Crown Royal. This phenomenon made for interesting nights.

It was a lot of fun to have everyone there for a full week prior to the wedding. There were many good late night conversations in the hot tub. All in all it was a good week. I came home with a tan and a few interesting stories.Want to see any more pictures you can go to these sites

Professional Wedding Pictures
Dave's Site

Not that there's anything wrong with that...

2006-05-09T13:59:00.000-07:00

Garrett bought the new Nick Lachey album.

Gay or un-Gay?

PS- note to elbrecht... until sufficient headshots are provided, we are all going to assume she is roughly proportional to your Gyrad date back in the Thompson Hall days.
Brady, how would you describe her?

I'm kicking Drew in the Nuts

2006-05-08T15:50:00.000-07:00

There was no Slumpbuster and I will kick Drews ass for invoking that term. If anyone else wants to use that term they will also receive a quick kick in the nuts.

You've been warned.

by the way

2006-05-08T11:36:00.000-07:00

Elbrecht.
Virgin Islands.
Slump buster.

Call him.

Thoughts on Heaven inspired by Nate Bishop

2006-05-08T09:44:00.000-07:00

you know... upon re reading bishop's post, i have realized two things. 1) this is the first semi serious post in a long time (sorry jared, although i do like super NES as much as the next guy) and 2) it actually started making me think. and point 2 kind of pissed me off a bit. because i prefer my knee jerk asshole cynicism to actually thinking.

so with that being said, i wanted to actually acknowledge the below piece of writing, and just say that i think i was actually a little bit jealous or something about your entire premise... that you actually were excited about the concept of heaven. if you asked me what i thought heaven was like, i could have just responded with the typical biblical answers (you know...the whole "we dont REALLY know but we can infer Gods presence and bright lights and 24/7 david crowder" etc), but it would have lacked any creative dreaming on my part. and i guess i truly wouldnt have been able to say i was "really excited about it" because of that lack of creative dreaming, and my description sure would have lacked your level of passion.

granted, your heaven sounds a bit like the new adventures of Frodo Baggins only slightly more hetero, but you know, whats cool is thats how you picture it and thats why you are excited.

so what do i think heaven is like? i still dont know. but your post has started the wheels turning. And given me hope that maybe, just maybe there might be Saturday morning Cal football games. and steak. and Walker, Texas Ranger. i know, i know, when we do get caught up for reals in the twinkling of an eye, we arent going to even remotely care about such things... but hopefully there will at least be blogs so we can still bust each others balls.

Intenste Statistical Analysis < Baseball < Creation < God

2006-05-07T21:59:00.000-07:00

Note: This post starts with a wild tangent but eventually gets on track. If you don't like it, eat me.

One of the bye products of having more spare time on my hands than anytime since I was a sixth grader counting down till 4:10 PM when all the other kids got home from elementary school has been the chance to read about and study, in depth, the game of baseball. This comes as no great surprise to you faithful readers, I'm sure. The main sub-topic of this study has been what noted baseball author/historian/number cruncher Bill James termed "sabermetrics". The concise explanation is that Bill and his followers are on a holy quest of sorts for statistical knowledge. They reduce every player's performance to a set of numbers, from counting stats, ratio, percentage, you name it. It's incredibly in depth and fascinating especially if you like math and/or baseball. Since the movement is relatively new and had its genesis outside the network of Major League Baseball, it has had a tough road to acceptance amongst the teams. This is mainly due to the fact that the European system of Aristocracy, Nepotism and Cronyism that America has worked so hard to rid itself of is alive and well in the form of organized baseball. The battle between the "old school" of scouting, gut feel and value on things like the "athletic face" and the "new school" of hard statistical analysis has been termed by some as the holy war for the soul of baseball.
My point is, for the last year of reading and studying sabermetrics and watching the game, I've been a hard core stats guy. I mean, there is alot of evidence out there that for years baseball has been placing a premium value on the wrong things and these Harvard Grads with their "nerd machines" are going to revolutionize the game by focusing more on On Base Percentage and Extra Base Hits than Bicep Size and 40 Yard Dash time. But if I was truely honest with myself, I had to admit that there was something to the human element of baseball. These guys aren't soulless machines. Even though sabermetricians will provide you with evidence that there is no such thing as a "clutch hitter" when I watch the game David Ortiz is routinely dropping bombs in the late innings of games in the same situations when Alex Rodriguez is 'gine slapping balls back to the pitcher and then trying to knock them out of their hands. The realization I came to was that the unbelievably complex and in depth study of sabermetrics can only provide us with part of what makes a successful baseball player. It doesn't register how a player responds when he gets booed, or when he gets out of bed and his back is sore. It doesn't say if he can block out his sick mother in the hospital while Mauriano Riviera brings a 97 mile an hour cutter at his johnson. Suffice to say, the depth and detail that comprise the game of baseball is immense. You can study its history, stats and watch games for your whole life and still not begin to understand everything about the game. That got me thinking; if you could study baseball, by all measures a tiny and insignificant part of modern culture let alone world history, and spend your whole life learning more about it, than there were probably literally tens of thousands of things you could do with your life and find it equally deep, challenging and rewarding. You could study Egyptian History, or Physics, or the Family Structure of the *click click tock tock* tribe of the African Desert. The more you think about it, the more staggering the complexity, depth and sheer volume of "stuff" this universe we live in has in it. With these overwhelming thoughts swirling in my noodle I sat down and tried to figure out if I could really believe in a God that was so powerful that he could create all of this merely by his will. If I can, and he is the God of the Bible He is something so much greater and so much more powerful than anything I could possibly comprehend. As I tried to grasp this for the first time in my life I became excited by the prospect in Heaven. Let me explain.
We live in a world where our fantasies are given to us faster and more intensely than anytime before us. In the past, if you wanted to save a damsel from a dragon, or climb the highest peak of the highest mountain you had to read about it and then transfer that into your imagination. Now, we can see the grandest battles, the most intense action, and the most sexual encounters from the comfort of our computer screen. The irony of all this is that as our fantasies grow more intense and realistic our lives grow further and further apart from these dreams. We live in a time when it feels like it's not even worth trying because everything's been done and everything's been said. The only thing left is wit, sarcasm and parody. I'd like to think in Heaven the plains are so fast, and the mountains so plentiful and steep that we can explore forever. There our fantasies don't have to be seen and read about because we will be writing our own epics and singing our own songs that we create everyday with our spectalcualr deeds of daring do, and our grand conquests and victories.
I'm probably wrong, and heaven is probably nothing like that. But I hope if it isn't its something better that I can't imagine. The point is, if God can cram so much interesting stuff into a minute part of an unimportant game popular for a couple hundred years of the worlds history in the northern half of a continent, than heaven is something that we will never understand, even when we're there. As for that God character, he's just simply too much.

For Cody

2006-05-04T22:03:00.000-07:00

Sorry Cody, To make up for the last Post, and as an effort toward repentance, I am posting a baseball site. Enjoy.

Click Here

Triple E

2006-05-03T10:08:00.000-07:00

Baseball has the world series, football has the superbowl, a bunch of random ass sports have the Olympics, and videogames have E3. Yes, E3 (Electronic Entertainment Expo) a time when the industries brightest stars come out, in their best silk anime shirts, to shine. It is a competition to gain market share and publicity on nerd websites, magazines and chatrooms. Every year nerd publications declare winners (best of E3 awards) and it is a bloody fight to be the top of the show. E3 is officially less than a week away. I thought it would be a good time to give a quick rundown on the show. So grab a can of Mountain Dew (official sponsor), put on your best Dragon Ball Z shirt and join me as we look at E3 2006.

I love E3 especially when the industry is on the verge of a new generation of consoles. Last year we were given previews of the next generations. This year we are going to be given concrete details on the new systems and our favorite industry insiders will be sitting down and playing with the systems.

Microsoft:
Microsoft is the only company to have their next generation system on the market. Last year they reveled their console and had it playable at E3. Unfortunately for Microsoft there had been a number of 360 leaks before the official unveiling. So when Microsoft actual unveiled the console everyone had already seen it. Since it was old news at that point Sony was able to come in and steal the E3 buzz with its tech demos and "gameplay footage" of PS3. This year Microsoft will be focusing on the second generation of games for the system. Games like Gears of War, Mass Effect and Too Human should be playable of the show room floor. Gears of War is suppose to be the killer application (pictured below) but Microsoft really needs to come out with something big this E3.

Speculation: I think Microsoft may say something about Halo 3 they may even have screen shots. If this happens Microsoft could officially steal a lot of the buzz that surrounds the show. But Bill Gates and company really need something big to topple the buzz that Sony and especially Nintendo are guaranteed to create.

Sony:
Besides having one of the ugliest controllers ever the PS3 is a powershouse of videogame goodness. This bad boy will even come loaded with a Blueray DVD player. For those not in the know Blueray is an HDDVD format developed by Sony. Last year Sony stole E3 with its "gameplay footage", the reason I keep putting that in quotes is because it was revealed after E3 that the "gameplay footage" was actually target demos. Target demos are videos the studios create so that the developers know what kind of graphics the studio is hopeing for. So needless to say most games don't look even close to the target demos. But Sony keeps insisting that they will (does anyone else remember the hoopla, I remember an article saying we probably wouldn't need PC's anymore now that the PS2 is coming out). This year Sony will have playable games on the show floor. If the games look amazing and can live up to (or even come close to) the target demos then people will be impressed. If the games don't people will be upset.

Speculation: Sony heavily relies on 3rd party support. They are going to need a killer application for PS3 and a 3rd party developer will probably have to create it. If I was Sony I would be pushing for a playable Metal Gear Solid 4 (Screen shots have already been released so it is possible). If they had that or even (although highly highly unlikely) a new Grand Theft Auto they could steal a considerable amount of the buzz. Before I move I will say that if Square Soft has anything in the works for PS3 it will create a huge buzz.

Nintendo:
Wow, Nintendo continues to keep us guessing especially after they decided to name their newest console the "Wii" pronounced "We".

Lets go back to E3 2004 - Nintendo announced a new Legend of Zelda game, the game looked amazing. You could see all the fanboys cheering, some with tears in their eyes. When I heard the news I immediately called Bishop and we both were filled with great happiness.

The present time E3 2006 - Due to numerous delays the Zelda Game has not been released. That is because the game has been tweaked to add the Wii controller. Just release the game Nintendo, everyone is pissed off at you and your stupid Wii (Oh, sorry, I will try to keep this unemotional). Anyway Zelda appears to be the killer application for the Wii and the swan song for the Gamecube.

Speculation: I give up, who knows what they will do. I expect to see a couple of revolution, sorry, I mean Wii exclusive first party games like Super Smash Bros., Metroid and Mario. The biggest bomb Nintendo could drop would be a new Kid Icarus. But who knows.

Well E3 is less than a week away, I will continue to keep you posted. So don't worry Dru or Cody, I will keep you on the cutting edge of the gaming industry.

Krav

2006-05-02T14:22:00.000-07:00

Well for those of you who dont know... I have been getting heavily involved in the world of Krav Maga. As my Krav Maga workouts have been intensifying, the bad news is I am dropping the weight I have really been counting on to throw people around with. So I am trying to counteract that. but the GOOD news is that now I can straight up wreck you in the face. Thats just what I do.

Common question: What the heck IS Krav Maga?

I think I will let this do the talking for me:

Behold the mighty power of Krav:

It's times like these...

2006-05-01T10:56:00.000-07:00

I realize why I get up in the morning.

Moral Movies

2006-04-29T01:11:00.000-07:00

My Aunt and Uncle have a website up. Its pretty funny.

http://moralmovies.blogspot.com/

Have a great weekend F'ing Unknown

It has gone too far!!!

2006-04-28T10:41:00.000-07:00

I just finished reading the latest edition of the publication we all know and love/hate... The Chimes. AFter I finished reading aobut 80% of the articles I gently/forcefully placed/threw it too the ground.

I am sick and tired of the gay ass race card. seriously 90% of the articles (I know I only read 80% but I read teh titles of the others) are about how america and all white people are racists. There is an article about how biola's chapels are racist. I am dead serious. They are racist because they dont ever have any diversity and they dont preach to the African American culture. I didnt know God sees race. I thought we were all his children (red and yellow, black and white, we are all precious in his sight). here is a quote from a black girl at biola...

hold on.. let me put these ripped pieces back together... "it feels like we are in a zoo and Im an animal behind bars...just a person in the backgroud...Ive got to yell louders so someone will hear me and I have to jump higher to just be seen."

"chapel tend to focus on white issues through a white style."

Weird I didnt the Bible was a white style..huh.

Then...Then there is an article...ps I am still on teh front page.. there is an article about "a day without a Latino" where all latino workers are planning on not showing up to work to prove a point that we need them here.

Honestly, if they done show up.. thats awesome! I seriously dont think that if all the latinos left and went back to where ever it is they came from it would cause damage to this country. sure it would for a little while. But after a while. it would be fine. I am not saying They cant be here and we would be a lot better without them, but if we didnt have them, I am sure we would get a long just fine.

I seriously have no problem with people from other countries coming here. I dont. but do it right. you are coming into our culture, adjust to it!! dont expect us to change to your culture. remember it is you that came into our country!!

as far as the first article I spoke about. I am seriously furious!!! I want to say something so bad (ie. write an article in the chimes) but I would be racist. and that is the part that pisses me off. You cant say anything to disagree because your are automatically a racist pig bastard!!

That is it. as soon as I can I am moving to the south!

oh an by the way, Biola didnt offer me the full time job but I got another job offer. I will be working with matty P and making more that I am at Biola and I will get to leave work at 2:30 and not have to think aobut it until the next morning!

Viva Las Vegas

2006-04-27T22:31:00.000-07:00

So i am leaving Friday to coach a tournament this weekend in Vegas, baby, Vegas, and i am remniscing about the last time some of us were in the City of Sin.

To recap, we were at dinner at Fuzolis at about 8 PM in santa ana, started talking about what we were going to do that evening, and a little after midnight we were pulling into the MGM and tossing back White Russians like they all of the sudden were going to stop being free.

I dont remember much about what happened that night... other then Cody not losing any money, Bishop ending up in some poker games with some guys from U of Wisconsin that Elbrecht decided he hated (and told everyone who would listen), and then driving home around 8 AM in the Bishops new car that Mandy let us use out of the goodness of her heart, and as we pulled out of the Strip, Elbrecht puked all over the car and Bishops life flashed before his eyes. (luckily i think we were able to clean it up ok).

Damn those were good times.

Viva.

Why Women Have Ruined the World; Point #37

2006-04-27T14:49:00.000-07:00

The Sale

So i have to pick up a white shirt for a wedding next week. Sounds simple enough right. So I walk into JC Penney's to get a shirt. Lo and behold there is a whole rack of shirts for $48. Given I only need one shirt I find that to be an ok price and decide to go to the register. Oh but this shirt is on sale, I was informed. By buying one shirt I was entitled to a second shirt at no cost what-so-ever. WOW can you believe my luck. It's like I've won the lottery but wait there's a catch. My experience went as follows:

Ok how about you just charge me $24 and we'll call it even... oh really I have to get another one. So even though I have no current need for two shirts I have to buy two shirts? So my other option is to pay for the price of two shirts and walk out the store with one shirt? Yes this sounds tremendously fair. Well ok I will go get another shirt that I have no need for. While I'm at it I had better get a swimsuit as I will be spending the next week in the Virgin Islands. Ok so here is my two shirts and swimsuit... That’s buy one get one free too huh? WHY THE HELL DONT YOU PACKAGE THESE IS 2 PACKS! Ok so not only do I have to get a second shirt I don’t need I also must get a second swimsuit I don’t need. Thanks! I pay, grab my bag and start to walk out the door and do you know what the sales lady had the balls to tell me? She said “you saved $57 today.” REALLY? DID I REALLY SAVE $57 BECAUSE ACCORDING TO MY AGENDA I WAS GOING TO BUY 1 SHIRT AND 1 SWIM SUIT. $57 HUH? WELL FUCK ME I GUESS I’M THE BIG WINNER.

So I say this to you. There is no such thing as 50% off, 25% off or .001% off. You cant have a purchase price being less than the price for an item. The purchase price is the price of an item. Sales don't exist. Sales are just telling your customer you really wish you could charge more but do to a free market you are forced to sell your shirt at market prices. When I look at my bank statement at the end of the month I don't see a charge for a shirt at JC Penny's that says $58 but because it was on sale $38, your balance is therefore ± $20 depending upon how you choose to view it. I can't tell my bank that though I have no money in my account I did save $57 at JC Penny's today so in reality I have money in my account.

Now why are women at fault? Indifference! I don't go clothing shopping but once or twice a decade but women on the other hand weave in an out of Red Sale tagged isles like they are testing out the newest Ferrari on a daily (even hourly) basis. Women have had decades and decades to deal with this problem. If women were to really make this world a better place to live they would simply refuse to buy anything that wasn't honestly priced. Do we see the world getting any better? NO! Thanks to the modern woman we wind up with a trash can filled with burnt bras just to be replaced with a wonderbra that is buy one at double the price and get one FREE.

note Obviously I realize that a man had to come up with the marketing ploy seeing as how men still run the world. But there wouldn't be drug dealers without drug users.

Why Nintendo? WWWWHHHHHYYYYY?

2006-04-27T13:32:00.000-07:00

Nintendo has just announced the official name of its up coming system. The system had been referred to by its code name "revolution". But its official name will be the Nintendo "Wii". Thats right the official name of the system is the "Wii".

Nintendo, I know you want to be like the I-pod. I know you care more about the Japan than you care about the rest of the world. But this name is the worst ever. Why do you hate us. We all want to love you; but you hate us.

Although, it has been hilarious to watch the IGN message boards. The X-box and Sony fanboys are already telling the Nintendo fanboys to "go play with their wee wee's" and that they will "not be caught playing with Marios wee".

Nerds ---- they are so funny.

Biola is so GQ

2006-04-25T17:56:00.000-07:00

I don't usually read GQ; however, one of my coworkers brought it in. He wanted me to read the article "The New Christian Sex Craze" (see the above cover for article). When I opened the magazine I saw a very familiar sight--The Jesus Mural. On the next page there was a picture of a guy and a girl standing next to Calvary chapel. The whole six page article was basically about Biola (with a brief interview with Steve Artaburn). Anyway, to sum up the article:

The reporter talked to few Biola students about abstinence.

He interviewed Steve Artaburn (author of Every Mans Battle).

He made sure to note that Steve was on this 3rd wife and that she was both Hot and 20 years younger than him (I was happy the author called out Steve's Laguna Beach lifestyle and young bride).

The author made a few ridiculous points about abstinence being stupid and defeated a few strawmen. One good example of this was his thinking on abstinence funding. The author said that that there was hundreds of millions of dollars being spent on promoting abstinence and that teens were helpless against the waves of abstinence advertising. I guess the author hasn't seen his magazine or watched TV lately. His magazine, GQ, is basically a glorified jack off mag (see cover for example) and the Media is constantly glorifying and promoting sex. What an idiot.

They had pictures of a Biola students' bathroom that contained a poster of Ronald Regan and a poster that said Capitalism is good. (Way to hammer in the stereotypes).

The article was inanine and devoid of any thought on the subject. In fact I could imagine the G writing this article his freshman year.

Six Pages later - were done.

a message from pat

2006-04-25T16:14:00.000-07:00

I got a letter in the mail yesterday and i was pleased that somehow in the course of this year i made it on a very coveted mailing list. i'm sure it will please drew that my conservative activities have places me in the good graces of mr robertson.

yadda yadda...

this is the way I feel!

2006-04-21T22:05:00.000-07:00

Ichiro and Beltre are Terrible!!! I am dead serious! I am so sick and tired of both of them. It pisses me off. OK it was fun watching ichiro the past couple years gathering many a hit, but it has now got to a point where I am over it. He is not good. He swings a purse and his little infield hits with nobody on and when it means nothing to the outcome of the game make me sick. He cannot hit when it counts. I used to think he could, but no! All he cares about is himself! he has no concept of a team. He cares more about his friggn WBC team than he does the team that means something and pays him. I even heard that when he hit his 262 hits, all he cared about was the hits, he didnt care about the team at all. I am sick of him.

Beltre..SUCKS!!! I seriously dont even care if he hits 500 the rest of the season with 54 bombs. I still wont like him. I dont care if he hit 86 homeruns two years ago (during his contract year)! F Him. He sucks. He cant do anything that is meaningful to the M's (besides play defense, he can do that).

I am going to be completely honest right now.. If I had either one of these guys on my fantasy team, I would release them both. I am not talking about trading them, I would drop them and pick up two players that are ranked 347th and 425th.

I am sick of watching the M's suffer because of these two guys. They are supposed to be the reason the team wins games and they are the reason the M's are losing.

F Them both!!!

Go Mariners!

Holy shit

2006-04-20T13:40:00.000-07:00

did you see south park last night. i'm sorry to all who are offended by oprah's talking vagina but i was crying the whole way through it it was so funny.

wanna get high

My Rage Against the Machine....

2006-04-20T12:23:00.000-07:00

There was a time, growing up as a sheltered homeschooled lad who got four locals channels on the tv (five on a clear day) when the idea of watching ESPN everyday was more exciting than all the Charlston Chew I could eat. When the Bishop family would vacation in such exotic locals as Eastern Washington or Southern Utah one of my favorit things was watching Sportscenter on the cable tv wherever we stayed. The information was so plentiful, the highlights so amazing and the anchors so entertaining that I would watch the same Sportscenter at 10pm, 11pm and then the following morning at 8. In the days before the internet where the only alternative to Sportscenter was scanning box scores in the local paper (a tradition which continues today by the way) a 24/7 sports station was too good to be true.

It's over. ESPN is dead to me.

At what point did ESPN transition from reporting the news to creating the news simply to fill their schedule with breathless hacks like Woody Paige and Skip Bayless bantering away at each other? When did it not become enough to tell the stories but to tell us also how we should feel about it? ESPN has become a gargantuan monkey on the back of sports fans. They have their toe in every facet of the media; Magazine, check. Huge web site, check. Full services sports mobile phone services, check. The amount of sheer information at your fingertips thanks to the Worldwide Leader is mind boggling. This would be great if they didn't constantly tell you A) we're great. Love us. and B) We will also be the moral compass for all that is sports. The second one especially pisses me off and I know that this is something my esteemed colleague Nate M. Kerr has harped on before. I really don't give a flying rats ass what Scoop Jackson thinks about the Duke Lacrosse scandal. Nothing to due with Duke Lacrosse even belongs anywhere near the headlines of a sports network, especially something that doesn't even have to do with Lacrosse. What's my solution to this problem? Well it's to assign a scapegoat for all of my frustration and take it out on him of course. I therefore, give you this man.....

The "Grand Poobah" of ESPN offends the soul on so many levels. His humour tired and canned, he is a shameless self promotor and name dropper. Worst of all he is an egregious panderer to the social interest story. This ass has a "Top 10 plays of the week" segmant on the Sunday Sportscenter. This should be awesome. There are so many amazing athletic accomplishments in any given week that this should be some of the most entertaining TV of the week. Instead Berman insists on shoving feel good crap down your throat. This past week his number one "play" of the week was Baseball celebrating Jackie Robinson day. There was no highlight, just some ol black people in the stand clapping away. GGGGGGAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't need some fatass telling me that I should be awed by the accomplishments of Jackie Robinson as man and a human being, especially not in a segment that should be showing me the latest Vince Carter Jam or Albert Pujols bomb. For the love of all that is right in this world Chris, report the news or go away. We would all be indebted to you.

So there. That's my off the cuff rant at ESPN. I didn't even bring up how their influence has become so great that you could convincingly argue that sports teams not located in the Eastern Time Zone are at a legitamte competitive disadvantage due to the lack of coverage given them by this arrogant, insufferable orginization. They are evil, and they must be stopped. You now may resume your viewing of Bonds on Bonds.

2006-04-20T12:07:00.000-07:00

brady this serbia picture just may beat out your serbia picture

Please Help

2006-04-19T14:35:00.000-07:00

Could someone please explain how the scoring works on Yahoo fantasy sports. Yesterday I had negative 10 points and today I have positive 20. I don't understand. Dru, the G, Bishop or Tyler please help.

Also, who is Rockem Sockem?

2006-04-19T06:39:00.000-07:00

I went to Serbia a few weeks ago and this was the best pic I took basically.

On another note... V for Vendetta is not out in Budapest yet... when it is, I will see it and be the final judge on whether it is really the cleverly entitled "V for Suck My Ass"

Garrett, I won't be back in time for the wedding. I would love to attend but I need to do some traveling before returning to the states.

Drew, thanks for the myspace.com post...

Also, whatever happened to Bonander? I always thought that Bishop had a non-sexual crush on him.

And finally, I always thought Bishop was a tool when I was at Biola. Thankfully when I visited La Mirada in the spring of '03 I got to hang out with him a little bit in that Buena Park apartment. Bish- you turned out to be cool and completely redeemed yourself in my mind. You the man

a couple things

2006-04-18T08:46:00.000-07:00

1) If you have not sent me your address, via email. You need to do it soon or you will not get to witness the most unheard of thing in the world, The G getting hitched.

2) Why hasnt anyone been posting, I miss it. I go out of town for a weekend and I dont have anything new when I come back... Bush League!

3) I am turning into somewhere different.. I spent close to $1000 on a couch and loveseat this weekend and we signed all of our apartment papers. Oh by the way, it is a little pricing to live in the crap hole of a place called So Cal!

4) I had my interview at Biola for the permanant position last week and it blew the big one. they asked me questions that would only be allowed at Biola (ie, because this job is so time consuming and you are just entering marriage, do you think it would put a strain on your marriage?) not legal!

5) I built a coffee table but for some reason my email is not recieving the photos of it to put up and show you guys.

6) I love baseball season!

7) I hate fantasy baseball season. In case you guys havent looked, I am in dead last. Have you seem my lineup?!? I am changing my team name to Jerry's Kids. They are a bunch of Cluster-Fu*&s and all no namers! screw this season.

8) I love and miss you dudes. you all better be at my wedding.

Tea Parties, Showers and Pickle Cookies

2006-04-15T10:36:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm getting kicked out of the house for a baby shower; to add insult to injury they made me help with setting up the party. I have one question, when was the last time a man asked a women to help him set up a party for the guys? The answer is never, because it never happened. If I where having the guys over I would simple go to the store and buy beer, chips, dip and, if I was BBQing, meat. I would not spend hours making pickled heart shaped lemon curd or clotted goat cream or anything with cucumbers. Secondly, women are constantly having parties like this. If its not a baby shower its a wedding shower, if its not a tea party its a graduation tea, if its not a bridal party its a batmitzva.

But, maybe I'm just jealous because guys don't have anything. Sure we have sports; but I'm not a big sports fan. I think guys should start to have parties, parties just for the guys. Instead of showers we should call them thunderstorms and they will basically involve fighting, basket ball and drinking beer. What do you guys say, who want to come over for a thunderstorm?

Worst Movie Ever

2006-04-14T09:16:00.000-07:00

Two weeks ago I decided what the hell I’ll go ahead and toss two hours of my life away. That’s right I went to see V for Vendetta or as I now affectionately refer to it V for SUCK MY ASS. How can you put two knife fight scenes in a movie and expect it to be carried by its action (there is no way anyone assumed the dialogue would carry this movie).

Half way through the movie I was horrified to find out that Natalie Portman in fact cannot act. And now feel it important to institute a one-bald-movie-minimum for every up and coming hottie (yes that includes you Heath Ledger) that way I never fork over seven dollars again for wavy brown hair.

What about the political message? Didn’t you find that disturbing? Well in fact I probably would have found the message disturbing if I could have quit laughing throughout the whole movie (despite the occasional elbowing to my rib cage). Have you ever seen those funnels that you can put a coin in and the coin spins round and round finally making its way to the bottom of the funnel and finally landing at the bottom on a stack of coins with a satisfying little plink? The movies that the Wachowski brothers have made seem to follow this Children’s Miracle Network pattern. Matrix 1, fun fun fun, I love watching this coin spin in long arcs. Matrix 2 the momentum is fading. Matrix 3 the coin is there in the bottom of the funnel and barely holding on. V for SUCK MY ASS…..plink.

Now sense I couldn’t suspend my disbelief at all in the movie due to how poor the dialogue was I though I would make a few observations. First what is the deal with the monologue? In V’s 121 word monologue 50 of the words start with V. Well good for him he’s picked a theme and decided to write himself a monologue in order to introduce himself. I just picture V sitting in his lair thinking “now you know I could just kick the bad guys asses and then topple the British government but how should I introduce myself...” So V decides to take a few days off from his fine art collecting and subway track laying to pull out his dictionary and thesaurus. A few days later he’s got himself a perfectly respectable introductory monologue. The highlight of his monologue “However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin van-guarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition.” Good for you V. Also congratulations on thinking up a great logo before commandeering British television.

Leaving V alone for a minute I just wonder why the ministers of Brittan never asked themselves if they may have let power get to their head. I’m fine with the leader of a country operating out of a secure location but it’s a little much to ask your subordinates to communicate with you via Jumbotron. Let this just be a warning to you, if some day you show up for work and your boss has decided that all future communications will mean you sitting in front of a 30 foot screen and talking to his 30 foot head, well you might just be working for someone who wants to kill gay people and Muslims.

Now are we really supposed to believe that just before V gets ready to topple the British government he goes out and purchases 30,000 dominoes (he probably got a good deal on them after purchasing 200,000 masks) in order to set them up in his lair? Hey I’ve got a good idea. I’m about ready to topple a government how about I set up 30,000 dominoes in the design of my logo. That way I can topple the dominoes as a foreshadowing to actually toppling the government. Get it? Okay I realize there is foreshadowing but no, V is not setting up dominoes in his lair. Maybe the Wachowski brothers could have put in a dream sequence or had V (or better yet the Jumbotron prime minister) unknowingly bump into things and the camera could have watched them topple in slow motion.

Of course I couldn’t help but laugh at the numerous clichés in the movie. V plays the courageous government toppling revolutionary and yet heads home to a lair filled with Diana Krall’s sultry jazz and the banned fine art. How about Natalie Portman’s gay friend who kept the Koran in his secret room so that he could “appreciate its beauty and poetry?” Let’s just not tell her friend that a lot of people who appreciate the beauty and poetry of the Koran don’t have a whole lot of tolerance for his particular orientation.

What takes the cake is V’s statement when Natalie Portman is getting ready to leave, “you know off all the times I’ve heard this song I’ve never danced to it.” At this point in the movie the tears were flowing freely as I couldn’t stop laughing. I wanted to say “maybe you could have danced once or twice if you hadn’t spent all your time rebuilding a subway on your own.”

Best Non-Intentionally Funny Movie Award goes to… V for SUCK MY ASS

When I Look At The World

2006-04-13T16:54:00.000-07:00

I got into Santa Rosa last night. I was at the Monte Carlo in Las Vegas, Nevada for the previous two days. I go with my work every year; to be honest its not really a place that I care for. Vegas is a cheap version of real life. Bono said it best "Banks: they're like cathedrals; I guess casinos took their place". Jenna was talking to someone who worked in Vegas they said "the Wynn cost 2.7 billion dollars to make. The new casino they where putting in next to the Monte Carlo is going to cost over 7 billion dollars. Billion.

As I was walking the streets of Vegas it occurred to me that half the people there act like they are making a rap video. Escalades with bumping rap music, people walking around like they are "hardcore", ego and emptiness. Poor people trying to act rich. Rich people trying to act young and, to the enjoyment of the major corporate investors, everyone spending money. A city singularly focused on selfishness.

In Vegas we all went and saw the show Mystere. It was a little too bizarre for me at first, but the acrobatics where really cool and I did enjoy the show. There where some spectacular feets of strength, skill and homoeroticism. Why was there a fat guy dressed as a baby? Why is there a satanic looking Rooster? Why do the men have so little clothes? Well, the questions are asked; but we may never know the answers.

P.S. If you are expecting hot chicks in this show, you will be extremely disappointed.

Jenna and I received project runway season one from Netflix. The show is about a group of fashion designers that are competing for a decent amount of money to start their own fashion line (fascinating I know). I'm actually impressed by what they can do in with the materials they have. To me making clothes seems as impossible as mining ore from the ground and creating a motorcycle. I've often thought that if I went back in time I could tell people of all the crazy inventions we have in the 21st century; however, I could not show them how to build even one of them. So when people can make dresses out of nothing but corn stalks I am impressed. The show is hard to watch, the people are all in a ton of pain. I wish the show could be Project Psycho Therapist because it would benefit most of the contestants.

Finding God in The Chronicles of Narnia is like finding sin in Las Vegas. If you can't find it your a vegetable. This book " Finding God In The Land Of Narnia " (and there are many others like it) is nothing but blatant money making schemes. I could write that stupid ass book but this one took two authors. I can see them sitting around in their huge houses in Coto De Caza saying "we made a *&$^ load of money on our finding God in the Lord of The Rings book, lets write one about Narnia." To me this is just another shameless money making scheme that pervades the Christian community.

Quote of the Week

"Mixing Christianity and Politics is like mixing ice cream and manure. It doesn't change the manure" - Tony Campolo

Opinion Poll

2006-04-07T09:24:00.000-07:00

What are the odds that Drew's reentry to the USA will be similar to this.

update

2006-04-05T18:05:00.000-07:00

so as of tomorrow i will be in mexico with the youth group for 10 days or so, returning a week from saturday.

a couple of thoughts:

1) this is REALLY going to F up the start of fantasy baseball season (unless bishop doesnt allow anyone to pick up any extra players until after i am back, hint hint).

2) if for some reason they dont allow me back in the country... i love you all and will miss you.

bon voyage

2006-04-04T00:06:00.000-07:00

elbrecht and lance.(and anyone else).

fantasy baseball league.

now.

Brokeback Mariner?

2006-04-03T15:11:00.000-07:00

Say it ain't so Ichiro.

In Other Big News

2006-04-03T14:05:00.000-07:00

I have a new Nephew. His name is Talan and he was born last night at 7:36. He weighed in at 9 pounds, he may be a big kid.

Those Pearly Whites

2006-04-03T11:50:00.000-07:00

You should have seen the look on my face when the lovely Elizabeth Anne Browning said "Yes" last night. Well, it looked something like this:

Yes, fellas, I am engaged, and it was all caught on tape. I'll work on getting it on the blog someday, but for now, know that the only better looking man than Scott Bao is now off the market.

For those who just don't spend enough time online....

2006-04-02T12:41:00.000-07:00

My wife and her friend Amy started a blog. Entertain yourself by offending sweet, innocent girls with comments of astonishing innapropriatude!!! Just remember, she's not just my wife, she's Tyler's sister. And you don't want to make Tyler mad.

For Those Of You That Said I Couldn't Do It....

2006-04-02T09:14:00.000-07:00

SUCK IT!

Stage one... Lumber

Stage two.. begin cutting and gluing

Stage three... almost completed footboard

stage four... headboard and footboard

stage five... put together

stage six... paint (this hasnt been done yet)

And just for fun... here is an end table I built out of spare wood

Fantasy Baseball!?!?!?!? HOOOORAYYYYYY!!!!!!

2006-04-01T22:16:00.000-08:00

Join the league my soon to be bitches.

League ID #: 324333

Password: unknown

It is so on.

Let's Get it Started....

2006-03-31T16:17:00.000-08:00

I realized that one of the special things about the Baseball Season is that I get unfailingly excited for it to start regardless of how my team is expected to finish. I mean, in comparison to the Seahawks and Husky Basketball, the Mariners are definately the red headed stepchild. Nonetheless I can't wait to have them finish last place again. Although the odds are good that in six months the M's will encase me in a glass case of emotion, for now, optimism reigns. To the preview!!!!!!

NL West:

1) San Diego Padres: Can you believe that this team has made it to two world series?!? Is there anymore anonymous franchise in pro sports (Discounting the pathetic NHL)? Whatever, at least they have Jake Peavy, aka. the best pitcher in the National League if Roger Clemens Retires. Watch for my boy Mike Cameron making plays and dropping bombs.

2) San Francisco: One of the more underratedly dislikable teams of the decade. Brings in old, washed up geezers (Marquis Grissom, Benito Santiago) who sidle their lockers next to Barry Bonds and miraculously revive their careers, setting career highs in HR's and RBI's. Hmmmmmm. When Old Man Steve Finley drops 35 HR this year, remember you heard it here first. A write up of this team would be remiss without a shout out to Dru's boy and Ben's bro, Matt Cain, who should challenge for rookie of the year this year.

3) L.A. Dodgers: A team in flux after discracefully throwing Paul DePodesta out on his butt after one Division title and one genuine injury-plagued disaster. This year's team promises more of the same. Be dazzled as Nomar limps off the field with a Mia induced groin pull!!! Ohh and ahh as Grady Little changes pitchers twelve times in an inning!!! Giggle with glee at the collective apathy this storied franchise faces as Flavor Of the Week Town, USA, turns its whorish eyes towards the new and shiny Los Angeles Mexican Jumping Beans as they win Ninety Plus a year.

4) Arizona Diamondbacks: Although their record may get a little worse this year they are moving in the right direction. The orginazational depth has been improved by good drafts (Stephen Drew and Justin Upton) and they are the on the verge of overcoming the emotional attachments to the remnants of the '01World Series Winning Team. Expect them to be in contention by '08.

5) Colorado Rockies: The saddest franchise in all of baseball. No team has to overcome more to win games than Colorado and their pitcher eating ballpark. We'll see if Clint Barmes can come back from injury, Todd Helton rebounds from a subpar year, and countdown the starts until Jeff Francis explodes. Other than that, there's not much to see here.

NL Central

1) St. Louis Cardinals: A stern warning to all Midwestern Smalltownites everywhere; enjoy this team. It will be the last good one for a while. You've got the best player in Baseball at first base and the reigning (ahem) NL Cy Young Winner. But you've also got an aging centerfielder, a chronically injured third baseman, and opie the wonder boy at shortstop. The Cards will still win the division but the writing is on the wall. Make this one count boys, the window is closing, and your doom on the horizon, and it smells like beer and sausage.

2) Milwaukee Brewers: A team that finally got its crap together. Loaded with young talent at premium positions and blessed with one of the top five or six starters in the national league the Brewers are a serious team on the rise. Look for them to make a push at the wild card before falling short this year. Look out for the mother fing Prince as Cecil's son is going to win Rookie of the Year.

3) Pittsburgh Pirates: That's right baby. Two young studs in Zach Duke and Oliver Perez and bringing the best player north of the border in Jason Bay (the Larry Walker Memorial), the Pirates are ready to sport a .500 record or so and look to be on the rise as well.

4) Houston Astros: Set for a big let down, especally if Clemens retires. There is no offense on this team and they will have to be carried by their pitching. If Oswalt or Pettite suffer an injury, Houston fans are gonna start counting down to Reggie Bush Day.

5) Chicago Cubs: Are they perennialy underachievers or did they just overachieve in 2003? Will Prior and Wood ever be in the rotation at the same time at any point this year? Who's gonna close? No matter what happens, enjoy Derek Lee, the best non Pujols player in the NL.

6) Cincinnati Reds:Ugh. Junior's waning years deserve better. There isn't a single pitcher on this team that doesn't suck royal ass. For a fun wager with a friend, will the Yankees Offense score more runs than the Reds pitching staff allows? Loser has to shave Adam Dunn's back.

NL East

1) Atlanta Braves: The last time the Braves failed to win this division, I was ten years old, Dr. Dre was underground and Dru and Nate just finished their Freshman year at Biola. Although I don't really understand how this team is going to win the division, I've felt that way the last five years. Whatever, they're awesome.

2) NY Mets: Got in a pissing contest with the Blue Jays over who could spend the most money in the offseason. Absolutely loaded on the offensive side with Beltran, Delgado, Floyd and Wright. By the way, David Wright is absolutely stupid. He made one of the greatest catches I've ever seen last year at Safeco. If Jeter had made that catch, the entire city of New York would still be collectively orgasming.

3) Philladelphia Phillies: They have two years to do something before Pat Gillick leaves their farm system more bare than the chicks at the Pelican (Right G?). Ryan Howard is swinger of a mighty stick but their really isn't anything going on here on the pitching side of things to make me think they'll finish much better than .500. ETA for Rollins streak to end: Game 4.

4) Washington Nationals: Looking forward to seeing Ryan Zimmerman play. Supposedly this guy is the greatest defensive third baseman to come along since Brooks Robinson. There is absolutely no other reason to care about this team besides seeing if Livan Hernandez can pitch at 3 bills and to see who Jose Guillen pisses off first.

5) Florida Marlins: The slimiest ownership in the league and one of the worst fan bases. The fact that they have two world series championships in thirteen years of excistence is one of the cruelet tricks that fate could play on the league. They have predictably sold off mos of their expensive players again and are sitting something like the 29th highest payroll in the league. I hate them.

AL East:

1) Boston Red Sox: Tough call between them and NY but I trust in Theo Epstien and they had one hell of an off season. With the additions of player like Coco Crisp and Josh Beckett they are setting themselves up for some stability with Big Papi and Manny locked in for awhile. Their starting pitching is shaky, especially if Curt Schilling can't come back but since when do the Yanks have quality starting pitching. Plus I hate the Yankees. Duh.

2) NY Yankees: Their offense gets a lot of pub but with the exception of Sheffield and A-Rod you can make an argument that every other starter is either overrated or due for a downturn offensively. Posada is older and more turtle like than ever, Giambi has been wildly inconsistent, Jeter is always overrated in every way, Damon is old and on the downturn, and Matsui gets mad props for his RBI's. Of course I would drive in 65 runs a year if there were runner on second and third every time I came to bat. Pitching wise, other than Riviera every spot is a question mark. They very well may score 1000 runs and win the World Series but I could just as easily see them finishing third and missing the playoffs. You should pray to God it's the latter.

3) Toronto Blue Jays: Why is it you hear so often about the competitive disadvantage that so many teams in baseball are in but then a "small market" team like Toronto rises from nowhere and splurges and new shiny toys to the tune of 100 million bucks? If Burnett is healthy he gives them a good second tier starter behind Roy Halladay, an absolute stud and probably the best starter in the AL right now. Offensively, look for my boy Vernon Wells. They may have a shot at sneaking into the wild card, but if they don't they can't blame the gigantic payrolls of New York and Boston anymore. It just so happens that those teams not only spend their money in loads, but they spend it wisely.

4) Tampa Bay Devil Rays: I might be tempted to pick these guys in second if they were in the AL Central, they have a ton of young talent in Rocco Baldelli, Jorge Cantu, B.J Upton, Carl Crawford and Scott Kazmir. They all pale in comparison to Delmon Young though. If this kid gets 400 ab's this year he WILL win AL Rookie of the Year. They're on the right track with Joe Madden, who was the Parliment behind Mike Scoiscia's puppet Japanese Emporor the last couple of years in Anaheim and a new owner who isn't the biggest jerk owner in America.

5) Baltimore Orioles: Of all the team's that suck right now this one makes me the happiest. They completely bastardized themselves last year by signing Palmero and trading for Sammy Sosa and then had to watch as it completely blew up in their faces. Now Miguel Tejada wants out because they aren't good. Hey jackass!! Stay in Oakland!!!!

AL Central

1) Cleveland Indians: If I'm being objective and discount my love for the M's than this is my favorite franchise of the past fifteen years. Built a power in the nineties with almost completely homegrown talent in Lofton, Thome, Ramirez, Albert Belle. Recognized when that window was closing and didn't cripple themselves by resigning them to massive contracts when they became free agents, traded players when they were at their highest trade value, suffered threw a couple down years and now have another great team on their hands consisting almost entirely of products fo the farm system. Players like Johnny Estrada, Victor Martinez, Travis Hafner, C.C. Sabathia, Cliff Lee, Grady Sizemore and others make this team a threat to dominate the division for years to come. Be glad you squeeked it out last year White Sox, your time is past.

2) Chicago White Sox: A Successful title defense depends on the ability of Jose Contrares ot continue what he did last year and for Jon Garland not to regress to the mean. They are going to be a good team again, but the career years turned in by practically the entire pitching staff is going to be tough to repeat. Offensively the "loss" of Carl Everett is probably the best thing that could have happened to them. Thome will be good but not great. Scott Podsednick is wildly overrated, but that's a subject for a different time.

3) Minnisota Twins: Why do I love all these scrappy midwest teams so much? They're in a tough division but if Joe Mauer and Justin Morneau bust out like they can they will have an outstanding pitching staff with Santana, Radke and a young left-hander named Fransisco Liriano, who has been called Santana, part deaux. A playoff contender if the pieces fall in place, but they need the offense to produce.

4) Detriot Tigers: Another classic example of a team that isn't so much financially at a disadvantage as it is incredibly stupid with its money. Imagine all the talent that a smart and shrewd GM can buy with $100 Million in contracts. Instead the Tigers bought two over the hill injury risks in Magglio Ordonez and Troy Percival. Thanks to those two decisions they should be sufficently irrelavent for the rest of the decade. Well done.

5) Kansas City Royals: With the uprising of the downtrodden in the NL Central no other division has a pair of punching bags like Kansas City and Detroit. The Royals are appearing the be more and more a hopeless case. They have a great location in a great sports town (that's for you Elbrecht), but incompetent ownership and the inability to keep what little talent they produce (Carlos Beltran and Johnny Damon) is castrating. With the sudden loss of Zack Grienke, their best pitcher, they should able to challenge the '03 Tigers and '60 Mets for the worst record ever.

AL West

1) Oakland Athletics: If the AL West was the movie A Knight's Tale than the A's would be plucky Heath Ledger following his feet and "changing the stars" as they slay the aristocratict and arrogant Mariners year after damn year. Billy Beane would even fit as the sharp witted and honey tounged Goeffrey Chaucer and Bobby Kielty could be the funny looking red head. Eric Chavez could be the modestly attractive chick blacksmith. God I hate this team and I hate that I root for the bad guy.

2) Los Angeles Buena Park "909" Anaheim OC Angels: Even with all of the historical atrocities of the NY Yankees the Angels are hot on their heels as the most genuinely dislikable team in the game. The combination of Disney feel good, name changing, incredibly innane fan base and moronic orginizational beliefs like Garrett Anderson is still good and Darin Erstad is useful at first base are almost as frustrating as the fact that they have arguably the best and easily the most entertaining player in baseball in Vlad the Impaler and that they have one of the most loaded farm systems in baseball. The only thing that will keep them out of the playoff chase is if Bartolo Colon pulls the fat in one of his chins.

3) Texas Rangers: Had a great offseason and seem to be finally abe to put the God awefulness of the Arod induced crapulence behind them. Quality additions like Brad Wilkerson round out an already studly offense which means that it will all ride on a brand new starting five. A quality team in the deepest division in baseball.

4) Seattle Mariners: No team outside of the Yankees an Red Sox has more to work with when it comes to resources than the Seattle Mariners. They are one of the most profitable teams in baseball year after year due to their Stadium, rabid fan base and isolated location app. 700 miles from the nearest competition. So why have they sucked ass the last two years? Orginizational failiure at every level. Player evaluation, ability to keep a stable full of pitching prospects healthy, holding onto sentimental favorites like Bret Boone and Dan Wilson past their prime, and an inability or unwillingness to make the key acquision leave this team further from the World Series than it has been in 13 years. Fortunately, hope is on the horizon. His name is Felix Hernandez. If he gets enough innings he'll be in the top three starters in the AL this year. By the way, he's 19!!!!!!!!!! A group of promising young players like Yunieksy Betancourt, Jose Lopez and Jeremy Reed coupled with prime players Richie Sexson, Adrian Beltre and Ichiro! mean that this team has finally gotten over its emotional attachment to the famous '95 team and is headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, the hill is steep and long.

AL MVP: Alex Rodriguez

AL Cy Young: Roy Halladay

AL Rookie of the Year: Delmon Young

AL Wild Card: Chicago White Sox

NL MVP: Albert Pujols

NL Cy Young: Jake Peavy

NL Rookie of the Year: Prince Fielder

NL Wild Card: NY Mets

ALCS: Oakland Vs. Ceveland

NLCS: Atlanta Vs. St. Louis

World Series: Oakland Vs. St. Louis

Winner: Oakland A's

whoops

2006-03-31T15:16:00.000-08:00

So i got to be honest... this has crossed my mind.

I've fallen in love with Katheryn Williams

2006-03-31T09:19:00.000-08:00

Yes the irony has not been lost on me. I have been listening to her last concert she recorded. I think I've been through it 6 times now. Click on this link to stream the whole concert. If you don't want to listen to the whole Katheryn Williams concert then load it then scroll forward to the 1:09:45 mark and listen to her encore of Hallelujah....WOW!

Have a good friday.

(Did i already post this?)

2006-03-31T00:21:00.000-08:00

if not... happy friday.

Almost Weekend Update

2006-03-30T10:25:00.000-08:00

Good news for the obese (which, according to the recent posts, includes all of us). The Las Vegas ambulance company has purchased Extra-Large ambulances. The decision was made after the approx. 75 calls that the company received to transfer people weighing over 600 pounds. Finally, Vegas is a safe travel destination for us.

Click Here

Viva The Revolution:

Tech specs and clock speeds have been announced for Nintendos new console code named "Revolution". The speeds make the machine a little more powerful than the current generation X-Box. Nintendo has also announced that their virtual console will have Sega Genesis, Sega Master System, and Turbo Graphix 16 games. With such slow clock speeds Nintendo better hope that the virtual console is awesome.

Click Here

Tom Jones Knighted:

Tom Jones has recently been knighted by Queen Elizabeth II. This news has prompted every one in the world to ask the question, "Why the hell did she knight Tom Jones when Barry Manilow has no title!!!?"

And that is news to me.

Two Things

2006-03-29T10:24:00.000-08:00

First I had a dream that I was smoking pot with Shaq while sitting in a sweat lodge. Probably the most bizarre dream I have ever had.

Second, while checking out the hot new band Prymary Colorz I had a hearty chuckle when I realized that there are 125 used CD's available with the starting price at $0.01. Why only one cent you ask. Well because that is the lowest possible price they can set it at and still advertise to anyone around the world that they want to rid themselves of this music.

p.s. Snoop Dogg (aka Drew Martin's look-a-like) made the front page of the WSJ for the second time that I know of. Let's all wish Snoop good luck on his new hot dog line "Snoop Doggs" seeing as how Vegas isn't all that inviting of his musical act.

Let's switch cameras

2006-03-28T21:03:00.000-08:00

I really feel the need to share this...

Prymary Colorz

2006-03-28T15:55:00.000-08:00

Since Dru, post the worst movie trailer (which I disputed). I decided to post the worst new band. Check them out. They are called Prymary Colorz and they are worse than most Disney Channel Bands. But boy the way they spell their name is ultra ghetto. Congrats.

CD NOW

Worst. Movie. Ever.

2006-03-27T14:36:00.000-08:00

No Garrett... this is not the low budget adult film you rented a few years ago... however, this very likely could be the worst movie ever made. Samuel L... what happened?

I give you... Snakes on a Plane.